In Response to International Women’s Day

Friday was International Women’s Day. I am writing this post today because women should be recognized, seen, and respected every day of the year, not just one day.?

I wasn’t planning on writing a post for International Women’s Day, but I read a number of posts written by incredible women last Friday, and got inspired.?

I used to feel excited when it was International Women's Day. I felt like I was seen. Now that I'm a bit older, I feel insulted and uncomfortable about the fact that there is only one day in the entire year where women are recognized, and the rest of the 364 days of the year are men’s day. And, in actuality, International Women’s Day is still men’s day, because men have more power in society. I am painfully aware every day of the year that as a woman, I am viewed and treated as a second class citizen.?

Instead of having International Women’s Day be one day of the year, why don’t you spend every day lifting up women around you? As a woman, it can be very intimidating to do anything, because we are under a microscope. We’re taught from a young age that we’re expected to not succeed, not be as smart as men, not be as strong as men, not be as athletic as men.?

Every statistic out there supports that women get paid significantly less than men for the same role. As women, we’re taught that we are not deserving of the same success as men, and know that everything is going against us for us to succeed. That creates an extra pressure and lens on us in everything we do, because we know that people are expecting us to not succeed, and that people think that we can’t do it.?

There are studies that show that when a man reads a job description, if he matches only 30-40% of the qualifications, he’ll apply, because men were raised with the support and confidence that was taught to them in society that they can do anything they want, and that the world is their oyster – whereas women are constantly put down. These same studies show that when a woman reads a job description, she will not apply unless she meets 70-90% of the qualifications. While men received messages from society growing up that they could achieve whatever they wanted, and that they could hold any high-up corporate role that they wanted, women were taught that they exist in society to make babies, cook dinner for their husband and family, and that they could be an assistant or hold a lower role at the company where their husband or father was CEO.?

Gender inequity is not a new problem, and it is not a one woman problem. This is how it is for every woman in society. For those successful women out there, in whatever success means for you, I see you. You’re amazing, you’re incredible, and I know that you’ve overcome so many more obstacles and self-doubt that were placed upon you just because of the gender you were born into, and all of the negative implicit biases that were placed upon you from your conception in the womb on.?

I wrote my honors thesis at NYU on gender bias in the workplace. My research suggested that if women view successful women as a part of their in-group, successful women will contribute to all women’s positive self-esteem, and empower women to know that they too can achieve success. Very inspiringly, there are now some women in C-suite positions. I think when my mom was entering the workforce, the number of women in C-suite positions was 0% or 1%. But now, 20% of C-suite roles are held by women. This is still a disparagingly low number. However, there has been huge growth.?

To further that growth, if you’re a woman, every time you see a woman in a successful role, remind yourself that she is a part of your in-group. She’s a woman just like you. And she had to overcome all of the same gender obstacles and barriers that you have had to overcome. So remind yourself that if she can do it, you can too.?

So many women already do this every day, but know that you too as a woman can always lend a helping hand to other women, and help grow them, help build them, if that feels comfortable to you. You can make an impact.?

Know that there’s no impact too small. You can make a difference. Remind yourself with every successful woman you see – know that she’s making space for you and paving the way for you. She did it. It’s a really helpful reminder and psychologically proven that viewing successful women as a part of your in-group makes you feel like you’re more capable of doing it, and will build your confidence and you will do it too. You can do it.?

If you’re a man reading this, I hope that although you haven’t experienced this firsthand, you absorb the words that women shared on International Women's Day, and every single day of the year.?

Work to overcome implicit biases that were placed upon all of us. Treat women with respect. Don’t objectify women.?

Open doors to job opportunities for women, not doors to cars and restaurants. Women are fully capable of opening a car door or a restaurant door, and those door handles are within full reach for women. The door handles that are not within reach for women – doors to high level job opportunities.?

Know that any time a woman achieves success, she’s had to overcome so many obstacles and negative biases placed on her by society that you as a man haven’t had to overcome. If this feels significant to you, make an effort to open doors to job opportunities for women, not car and restaurant doors.?

Women are just as capable, if not more, to change the world and achieve success. But since men hold more power in society, I urge you to do what you can to give women a seat at the table, which they have significantly less odds of getting statistically, so they can have an equal opportunity as men to make a large impact on the world. Open the doors to leadership job opportunities for women.

As women in the US, our literal right to decide what happens to our bodies got taken away from us in June 2022. The Supreme Court took away my right to have autonomy over my own body on June 23, 2022. The right to choose what happens to our bodies got stripped from half of Americans that day – women. Men, as per usual, have full right over what they do with their bodies. And, as per usual, men are telling me what to do, but now in far more personal and legal ways than ever before.?

I remember that day and that feeling of powerlessness vividly. If you are not a woman and did not experience that, I am really happy for you. I know that it can be hard to understand how people feel if you haven’t gone through the same experiences. If you did not have to experience losing your right to choose what happens to your body that day and every day since, I urge you to do a visualization, and imagine that someone is telling you that you have to eat certain things, put certain pills in your body. Imagine that someone is telling you that you have to gain 60 pounds, and that you have to go through tremendous pain. Imagine that your life is in danger, and that there’s a procedure that exists that could save your life, but the government told the doctor that they are not allowed to perform this life saving surgery on you, so you are going to die. Imagine that deciding what happens in your life and to your body is not up to you, it’s not in your control. The government has told you that it’s not up to you to choose what happens to your own body. You don’t have any control. No say. If you can’t visualize it, I understand. Visualization is a practice. It can take time to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and make an effort to understand what they are going through.?

I urge you to look at your fellow humans with empathy. If people are saying that they feel mistreated and disrespected, listen to them. If a whole gender, i.e. half the population is saying that they feel disrespected, listen to them. Of course, not all women feel the same. I respect every woman’s opinion. It is – or I should say, it was, and it should be –? every woman’s right to do whatever they want to with their own body. If you are not a woman, I urge you to not comment with a dissenting opinion. I urge you to accept that you have no say over what another human being does with their body.?

Women’s rights are human rights. We are all humans. I am a human. I feel devalued as a human and as a woman. The degree to which I feel devalued has grown tremendously since Roe v. Wade was overturned.?

As a woman, I am expected to give up my identity if and when I get married, and take upon someone else’s, a man’s, last name, to signify my joining his family. That has bothered me for a long time.?

What about me? What about my identify? What about my family? I’m supposed to give up my name, and my identity, the identity I've had my whole life, for a man, to accommodate his wants and his needs? Men, how about you give up your identities and your last names, and take your partners’ names when you get married??

Taylor Swift ever so eloquently and artistically conveyed the anger and disparagement that so many of us women feel in her song titled “The Man”. She is the number one artist in the world today for a reason – clearly her words resonate with people. I urge you to listen to the words in this song. Take them in. Reflect on them.?

Listen to the words of all women and girls around you. Hear them. Treat them with respect.?

Men –?

Open the door to opportunity for women that you were inherently given due to the gender you were born into.?

Women –?

You are incredible, deserving, and worthy of greatness. You can do anything and everything you set your mind to. I see you. You got this.?

I have included a photo of myself as a toddler in this post. I try to embody the confidence and strength I had inherently as a toddler, both due to my innate qualities and because of how my parents raised me, before the world worked hard to knock me down and tell me I was less than – capable of less, worth less – because of my gender. I look at this picture to remind myself that I am strong and confident, and have been inherently since I was born. I urge all other women and girls to own this. Own your strength. Remind yourself that you are capable of anything and everything. You got this. You can do it.?