Respond don't react!!!

Today I was having an argument with my husband about something really petty. In the midst of argument something strange came over me. Under normal circumstances I am hardly the one to give up my point so easily but something inside me asked me to step back. I decided to go with the voice inside my head.

 On stepping back I wondered why is it necessary to feel so threatened or personally attacked when someone challenges my views. And the answer was so clear that I wondered why I never realized it before. It was my egoic mind which was at play, which is why it felt attacked when someone went against it's thoughts. And it retaliated in defense in an equally fierce manner leading to conflict.

 Later when I was calm I heard my husband's point of view in a calm and unbiased way , without judging or labelling it as right or wrong. And then equally calmly explained him my view. Without egoic mind at play we were able to communicate without getting hyper and emotional.

 So when I reflect back on this , I realise that whenever you feel threatened or attacked by someone's view point , it's always better to step away because initial reaction comes from the egoic mind which does not allow us to absorb and respond well.

 Does it mean that you accept something which you do not want to accept? Not at all, it simply means that you communicate your reasons for denial without emotions attached to it. It instantly becomes less personal and bitter and hence no reason for conflict.

 Moment you accept other person as is without any judgement or labels, there is no reason for conflict in any relationship. This is really so simple but still we continue to judge and colour everything around us by the lens in which we see the world.