Respectfully, I have to disagree.

I didn’t find it completely comfortable saying that in my second meeting with a client that had just committed to a 3-year, high six-figure contract. But it was the start to a conversation we had to have to get the results they wanted.?

Becoming confident and competent having thoughtful, reasoned and respectful disagreement is a core skill of anyone looking to drive change. This applies directly to Customer Success as you continually work to move your clients along a continuum of success—closer to their desired outcomes—with every interaction they have with your company.?

The thing about rolling out any significant technology implementation is that really,?the tech is the easy part. Getting the communication right, fighting the inertia of the status quo, driving long-term behavioural change, measuring it all effectively, that’s the hard part. It’s in the confluence of those things that you’ll inevitably find yourself needing to make recommendations that run contrary to your client’s initial viewpoints.?

There are a couple of things that can help here; managing the conflict, and the concept of ‘disagree and commit’. Both I’ve used extensively, with (self-proclaimed) success.?

Managing Conflicts

First of all, you won’t always be right. To effectively be a steward of change, it’s important to have a deep commitment to what is right, not who is right.

In making this commitment you’ll more effectively seek to understand where your clients are coming from, what data they might have to substantiate their viewpoint and where potential misconceptions exist.

It’s far more effective to move someone from A to B, if you’ve demonstrated the empathy to stand beside them, unopposed, and see their worldview. It takes a little extra time upfront, but you’ll make up for it along the journey having done so.

You may be wondering what that sounds like. As I’ve noted before, it’s difficult for me to write in abstract without practical takeaways, so here are some example questions you may want to use:

“Can you tell me more?”

“Do you have an example of where that has happened before?”

“Could you please share what made you come to that conclusion”

To take it a step further, my days at Apple taught me what might be the very best communication tip I’ve learned in the last 11 years. To make any of the above questions significantly better, you can prefix them with what was referred to as a ‘positioning statement’:

“I want to make sure we make the right decision the first time, so that I can properly understand, can you share an example of where that has happened before?”

Once you’ve gotten down to the root concern, which in?most?cases is not what was at the surface, you’re in a much better place to either allay fears or take a new course of action.?

In contrast to doing this discovery, the absolute least effective thing to do is demonstrate why someone else is wrong.

To take a Gary Vee quote, put into a slightly new context:

“Build the biggest building by building the biggest building. I see way too many people wanting to build the biggest building by tearing everybody else’s buildings down”.

No person ever increases their opinion of you or feels good about a change of direction because you made them smaller than when they walked into the room.

Disagree and Commit

This concepts rests on the reasonable assumption that disagreement prior to making a decision is constructive, but once a decision has been made, dissent is toxic to performance.

Made popular by Jeff Bezos (you can read his take on it in this?2016 Amazon Letter to Shareholders), it can be traced back to Andy Grove at Intel and is documented in?High Output Management.?

Although aimed at leaders of businesses, its remarkably useful as a Customer Success Manager who is often working to lead change within a client organisation.

To put it to use, it goes a couple of directions. Either you state that you disagree and still wholly commit, or you ask the same of your stakeholder.

It’s not any more complex than that, but it does take tact. To use a snippet from the above shareholder letter, here’s a useful approach that Jeff highlights:

“Look, I know we disagree on this but will you gamble with me on it? Disagree and commit?”

While I haven’t personally used this phrase in the past, variants have paid dividends many times over.?

Summary?

Mastering the art of respectful disagreement will help you become a more respected, value-added advisor that is considered a safe pair hands as you partner with your clients.?

Ultimately, this type of relationship allows you to move faster, create value sooner and chart a path to success.