Respectfully Disrespectful!

Imagine the following situation:

1. In a dining hall filled up with billionaires gathered to celebrate success of a mutual investment fund, you are invited as a unique guest, because some years back you did a great favor to the chairperson of the billionaires group.

2. And there, as you are introduced to other financial giants and money gurus, the next day you see all over social media, a pic of you and the chairperson, captioned: "Son of a financially mediocre citizen, welcomed by the billionaire group chairperson."

3. Imagine you are allowed to sit to eat on the table of emperors and kings and the next day, the king’s trumpeter announcing to the city: “The daughter a of civil servant was invited to eat with His Excellency".

4. Now, being honest, will you feel insulted or honored? Respected or Disrespected?

Answer truthfully and honestly, as they say, Only Truth Shall Set You Free!

Every other day, we read news like:

• ?? Ricksha Wala's daughter topped federal board exam;
• ?? Security Guard's son topped it to CSS,
• ?? Railway Foreman’s boy tops MDCAT etc.

Such news is always accompanied with a picture of the young boy or girl, holding their trophy or a certificate or a medal, standing along with their humbled parents or either of his father or mother, on the face of whom, we can see stress and toil of the years.

We share this news as a privilege to them, which ought not to have been given in the first place.

The media acts to honor them, yet, as if they were not worthy enough, but well, you know, we are too gracious and benevolent to offer it anyway.

There, you see on the parent’s face, a deep humble smile, inclusive of the toil, sweat, sense of accomplishment, but along with it, a sense of un-belongingness to the whole situation.

This news is shared as if it was not supposed to happen and treated as a unique ONE-OFF EVENT that occurred somehow.

There is a cultural root cause behind this. We are people who remember other people’s pasts. We do not forget that Malik Riaz used to come on a Vespa at our uncle's place before he became a tycoon. (I have heard this story from so many people, I began to think Malik Riaz had countless friends, each one of whom had a nephew, who would keep a tight watch over when Malik Riaz would visit his uncle’s place).

We do not accept that anyone can be a winner. We find it hard to ignore backgrounds. We find it tough to acknowledge that others can be better than us. So when we hear news like:

X became a huge business tycoon: our response is: he would have been involved in drug trafficking, which means: since we are not into drugs, so we are still lurking in the financial mediocrity.

Y topped CSS exams: our response is: she was a bookworm, never mingled with friends which means: since we are not bookworm and have a great social life, so we cannot top the exams.

Z developed an athlete body in gym: our response: she could eat anything and still not get fat, which means: since we have a different body metabolism, its not our fault that we have not such an athlete body.

We do not give credit to one’s genuine efforts easily.

And when someone from a socio-economic class lower than that of ours, takes the lead, we can do nothing but to accept it but deep down below, we want to NOT acknowledge the lead, and well, if we have to, why not acknowledge it but with a reminder, who he is.

So our story telling talent creates the heading: son of a rickshaw driver gets three golds in MBBS.

Let’s end this nonsense.

Let us NORMALIZE this, like it is in the rest of the world.

Let us totally ignore who belongs to whom and hails from which background.

What does the achiever’s dad do is NONE of our business.

It must be none of our business.

So what's the big deal? End this subtle disrespect in the garb of respect.

A societies cultural fall is hidden not in its open norms, but in its most subtle manners of handling its people and ways of creating genuine respect to them.

Finally, remember one golden rule to know whether a person is being respected, or disrespected.

Imagine, if you were treated the same way, how would you have felt?

See things clearly, with clarity.

Blessings

Hassan Bukhari (pen name)

Syed Hassan Abbas

Chief Editor

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