Respectful Conflict Can Drive Success - The Summer of Soccer Thinking (or Wrexham Thinking for Soccer Success)

Healthy conflict grounded in respect can help drive success. Conflict without respect can wreck organizations.

One of the people I talked to for Soccer Thinking for Management Success was Michael Williamson, then the chief strategy officer at Inter Milan. He went from there to Miami FC in Major League Soccer, and most recently to Wrexham where he serves as the club's CEO. I met Michael when he was at DC United (and we lived in the same small building in Adams Morgan, DC is like that).

"A good football team like a good management team will use conflict to drive to a better result, but the fundamental requirement is that respect exists in order to have positive conflict." - Michael Williamson

Sometimes I shout at players on the pitch, and sometimes they shout at me. That's fine as long as the person at whom I'm shouting knows I have the team goal in mind and I know they can be better. The same goes the other way - I'm OK getting shouted at by someone who I know respects me and wants me to do something better. One result is that I get better and the team does better. Getting barked at people who I don't believe think I'm worthy of being on the field with them is demoralizing. I do worse, and the team does worse as a result.

The same is true in organizations. I've had some pretty spirited disagreements with colleagues over the years. One reason I get hired to work with senior leaders is because I'm willing to argue with the person in charge. But it only works if the person with whom I'm disagreeing knows I respect them and shares their goals. My approach is never dismissive and is always rooted in organization's mission.

Meetings in any organization can get tough. People can disagree sharply about important topics. That can be good. If the debate is honest and rooted in respect the decision will be better. And, because the decision came from an honest conversation, even those who disagree are more likely to support it. They had their say, everyone debated, and either the manager made a decision or the group took a vote.

Conflict rooted in selfishness, people arguing a point to make themselves look good or to be seen to arguing a point, isn't productive. Conflict meant to undermine colleagues or a shared mission is counter-productive. And continuing to snipe or second guess a decision after an honest debate demonstrates a lack of respect for one's colleagues and the organization, and is ultimately bad for everyone.

Williamson is a good, sharp and smart guy. He sets clear goals, and focuses relentlessly on those goals. I once saw him at DC United's old stadium with a stopwatch timing how long it took people to move through a concessions line (too long, he wasn't happy). For him, respectful conflict is a way organizations can achieve their goals. Focus, debate, decide, move on.

You don't have to take it from me, take it from the CEO of the world's most famous lower-division soccer team.

In addition to this being a good way for me to think out loud and attempt to justify the absurd amount of time I'm spending watching soccer, it's a way to plug my 2018 book, Soccer Thinking for Management Success: Lessons for organizations from the worlds game. Some of the people I quote have moved on - Ben Olsen now coaches the Houston Dynamo and not DC United, Michael Williamson went from Inter Milan, to Miami FC, to Wrexham (seriously). But I think the lessons hold up.