Is Respect Optional?

My Father gave me months of driving lessons in the cemetery to prepare me for my exam when I was 16 years old.

Why a cemetery? Because my dad is frick’n hilarious and said “You won’t be able to kill anyone there since they’re all dead”.

He also taught me to give a polite hand wave any time another driver yielded or did something courteous as a way of saying “thank you”.  Frequently I’d get a wave back and it just “felt” like the universe was in balance whenever that happened, so I made it my mission to ALWAYS give a friendly hand wave. 

When I was in Japan a few weeks ago I was amazed at how the level of politeness there is in direct contrast to almost everywhere else in Asia. 

In most of Asia, a polite hand wave when driving is not practiced. In fact culturally, I would argue that courtesy to strangers is not expected or practiced in most situations across Asia. The massive inequity and acceptance of different socio-economic classes in Asia allows most people to go through their day without ever saying “good morning” or “thank you”. If you live in Asia and disagree, go ahead and say “good morning” to the coffee stall lady, a taxi driver, or the security guard or the cleaning staff and watch their reaction. They will either be shocked that someone noticed them or laugh embarrassingly that someone has taken a moment to be courteous. It still amazes me how people in Asia live with their helpers/drivers/nanny and never even give a common courtesy of saying “good morning”. 

I’m often surprised at just how courteous our athletes in ONE are. I’m not just talking about a friendly hug during the global broadcast.  I’m talking about the “fights” that break out when no-one is watching: how they politely fight over who walks through the hotel door first, fight over who gets the chair to sit down, or fight over who has the biggest smile. They don’t use courtesy as just another tool in their arsenal to get what they want like many people in Asia, they live and practice courtesy every moment. #Respect.

I've heard it said that showing respect is not about others; it is a decision about how you choose to move through the world. So go ahead and give that hand wave when you drive, it feels awesome.