Respect only those who deserve it

Respect has nothing to do with age and gender because they are nothing but mere numbers and words. Let's split the respect into 3 levels. Level 3: Give utmost respect to people who create value in your life. Like your parents, siblings, mentors etc. This level of respect should also constitute gratitude of highest level. Level 2 : The next on line are your acquaintances, people whom you see on a regular basis but have very less interaction with. Level 1 : Of course you have to give respect to even those who don't respect or treat you well because this will break them into shatters.

Respect” is a funny word. It is used for two entirely different things, one of which is earned and one of which is given. “Respect” can mean the consideration and empathy that any human being deserves simply by virtue of being human, as in “we should respect individual autonomy” or “I respect your agency.” That kind of respect is freely given. “Respect” also means “submission to authority,” as in “we should respect the law” or “the President deserves respect.” That kind of respect is earned. Problem is, people who feel entitled to the second kind of respect, often do not treat others with the first kind.

Give respect irrespective of how the other person takes it, or whether they deserve or not because giving respect is your nature. Having said that sometimes people make us question our stand. but they should be weighed against people who don’t make us regret our decision of respecting people. The problem, from my point of view, is that there are two separate kinds of respect, but it is treated as there is only one. I will explain in detail here. The common view of respect is that you have to earn it. Earn it, by way of your actions. But that can only happen if your actions match up to a person’s expectations of you. You cannot earn a person’s respect if that person does not think that what you do deserves respect.

For example, a lot of people pay you respect based on your job. If you say you’re the manager of a bank, for example, there’s a level of respect there. If you say you’re a cashier at a grocery store, depending on the person, you may not be able to gain their respect. Your opinion is also judged with a certain level of respect, even on this website. Your credentials earn you respect, if you say you are a psychologist, for example. Your opinion may have more weight to certain people because of your achievement.

I have had a lot of problems with the way we handle respect, because I don’t think it’s fair to judge a person based on what they have or have not accomplished. If everybody is given the exact same opportunities in the exact same manner with a level playing field that treats everyone equally, then respect could make some sense to me, because everybody would have an equal shot at achieving things. But this is not true in this world. The playing field is not level, not fair, and certainly not equal. A graduating class is said to have an equal shot at going to college, but it is already a given that not everyone that is qualified to get into one will. Therefore, there is a certain percentage of students guaranteed to fail, before they toss their hats into the air.

Going back to what I said in the beginning, I believe that there should be two kinds of respect. The first I’ve already spoken about, and don’t necessarily agree with. The second, however, is a general respect for other people, simply because they are alive. We don’t know why they are where they are, why they do what they do, what hardships they’ve had or what problems they’ve faced. Worse still, assuming that everyone really does have an equal shot at their dreams, for the sake of argument, who would be left to BE janitors and garbagemen? Who would be left to BE cashiers and fast food cooks?

Therefore I guess I would say that it is their problem that they don’t respect you, and you need to let go of trying to gain it from them. Chances are very good that people’s lack of respect for you has more to do with them and their views than you or your abilities, and once you’ve learned somebody does not respect you, it is so unlikely you can do anything to gain it from them. But if I have someone I come into contact with that doesn’t respect me, I usually dislike that person tremendously. Because after all, what right do they have to treat me differently based on anything in their heads? Who wrote the rules that said it was okay to treat other people like crap based on certain parameters?

I believe we’re all here for a reason, and if that’s true, I should respect you and everyone else that’s alive, just as what you are, as respect is earned. Showing basic courtesy however is something everyone should be giving to everyone even people you have no idea who on earth they are. For example it is basic courtesy to hold the door so it does not slam shut in the next person’s face, it is basic courtesy to wait your turn in line and not push in etc etc. In many countries including mine it is also considered basic courtesy to thank the bus driver as you exit the bus. Respect is like trust. You have seen that person do many good things so you now you respect them. So no person deserves respect from the day you meet them but everyone including randoms in public deserve basic courtesy from you. Cheers!