Respect and Forgiveness Are Worth Preserving

Just over a week ago LSU beat Iowa to win the Women’s NCAA basketball Championship. The storyline, rather than being about the first basketball championship for LSU (women or men), was all about a hand gesture LSU’s Angel Reese made to Iowa star Caitlin Clark.

For the record, Caitlin used the same gesture many times towards opponents and said afterwards that she had no problem with Angel’s actions because they are competitors. Her response makes sense because Caitlin most likely would have made the same gesture if Iowa had taken home the trophy.

Aren’t we as a society somewhat hypocritical? On the one hand we hold up people who show great sportsmanship, often saying, “That’s what competition is all about” and “There’s true sportsmanship.” However, on the other hand we’re completely fine with players disrespecting each other. We justify their actions because, “He’s a fiery competitor” and “She’s so passionate.”

Why do we so readily accept actions on the court and field that we’d never tolerate in the office??

Respect

This post isn’t about Angel or Caitlin, male vs. female athletes, race, or anything else except respect. Respect doesn’t know individuals, gender, ethnicity, or any other human category.

When I grew up playing sports, I would have been yanked immediately for any gestures that showed disrespect towards coaches, players, or fans. We were taught respect, told to conduct ourselves with class, and as one coach used to say about celebrations, “Act like you’ve been there before.”?

John Wooden, the greatest college basketball coach of all time, and perhaps the greatest coach of any sport, never would have allowed his players to do such things. Wooden used basketball as a tool to teach young men about life.

I can hear some people saying, “Yeah, but those were different times.” The world may be changing but some things are worth preserving and respect is high on the list.

I wrote about respect years ago in a post called?The Best Way to Ensure We All Get Along. The gist of the article was this; you get what you give. Give respect and most likely you’ll get respect. Diss people and you’re likely to get dissed. Some people call it the universe, others prefer karma, but what it’s known as in psychology is reciprocity. You will usually get what you give.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to be respected. So consider this; we say we want respect but we’re okay watching athletes, politicians, and others disrespecting each other continually. Make no mistake, our kids are watching and that’s where they’re learning it.

Forgiveness

First Lady Jill Biden made the mistake of saying LSU and Iowa should both come to the White House because it was a great game. Every sports fan knows that’s reserved for the champions because it’s their time to celebrate. If I were LSU I’d have been bothered sharing the spotlight too. It is their moment to shine. However, when the First Lady apologized (I’m not sure how big a sports fan she is) it was rejected by Angel and there was talk about the team passing up the opportunity to make a historic visit. Ultimately the university said the team would attend the celebration.

Do we really want to live in a world where sincere apologies are rejected? Remember, reciprocity means you’ll get what you give. I’m pretty sure if any LSU player makes a mistake (we’ve seen lots of mistakes from athletes at every level) that person would want forgiveness.

It used to be that to err was human, but to forgive was divine. Now it seems we relish the opposite. What if Chris Rock, rather than making a lot of money humiliating Will Smith, had simply said, “I forgive you”??

Nelson Mandela was praised for extending the hand of forgiveness to those who oppressed him and his people for decades in South Africa. Had Mandela gone a different route it could have led to a blood bath. If we cannot forgive the small things, do we really think we’ll be able to do so when much more is on the line?

Conclusion

Respect and forgiveness will never go out of style because everyone wants both. Knowing that you’re more likely to get what you give first, why not start giving respect and forgiveness generously? Do so and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much better you feel and how your relationships grow.

TED Talk

Interested in attending the TEDx New Albany event on?Tuesday, April 18th? It will take place from 4:30-8:30 pm at the Jeanne B. McCoy Community Center for the Arts in New Albany, Ohio. For more details and to?get your tickets, visit the?TEDx New Albany?site.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at?Influence PEOPLE. An?author,?TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book,?Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by?Book Authority. His follow-up,?Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book,?The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s?LinkedIn courses?on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!