Respect and Disrespect in the Workplace

By William H Harriss. 7/20/2024. [email protected]

Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship, whether it's with friends, family, or work colleagues and employers.

But how can you tell if someone genuinely respects you or not? There are obvious signs to watch out for that can help you identify when someone, an organization, or an employer has zero respect for you

Set boundaries and make sure you’re “not taken for granted by either your loved ones, your colleagues, or employers.” Respecting these boundaries is crucial in any relationship. So, if you are repeatedly being crossed in what you consider your personal or emotional boundaries, it's a strong indication that you are not respected.

They say good boundaries make good neighbours. But it takes good personal boundaries to build great interpersonal and professional relationships. Some people feel the need to please others, often without realizing that by saying “yes” to everything, they also say “no” to something else that might be equally important to them. This can have negative effects on both their personal lives and, most certainly, their careers.

Not being able to set healthy boundaries can be related to common issues like low self-esteem, needing approval from others, learned helplessness, or the fear of being rejected or criticized. If you have no real self-respect, do not expect others to respect you. Respect and disrespect are both contagious; people sense very quickly if you deserve respect.

People who have no respect for you often downplay your successes and achievements. They might make snide comments or joke about your hard-earned accomplishments, making you feel like they aren't a big deal. This can be incredibly disheartening and can even make you doubt your abilities. Don’t be backward in going forward and voicing your achievements and successes.

When someone keeps cutting you off mid-sentence, interrupting your chain of thought and interjecting other opinions, it's a clear sign they don't value what you have to say. This behavior shows a lack of respect and an unwillingness to listen, indicating they don’t see your thoughts and opinions as important. Consistent interruption can make you feel unheard and unimportant. But often, this comes from jealousy by others below, equal to, and above you.

One of the most important things is to exert and radiate superior confidence, blending it with some 'panache' and some 'effective presence'. A small body of psychology research supports the idea that how a person tends to make others feel is a consistent and measurable part of his/her personality. Researchers call it “effective presence.” People have to be programmed to admire your achievements and successes.

A person who doesn’t respect you usually does not like you as a person. They might use guilt to manipulate you, making you feel bad for their own mistakes or for saying "no" to something you’re uncomfortable with. This manipulative tactic is designed to control you and make you question your own judgment, which is a clear sign of disrespect.

If an individual regularly dismisses your opinions or makes you feel like your ideas are not worth considering, they lack respect for you. This can happen in both personal and professional settings, where your input is constantly overlooked or undervalued. You can then be made to feel insignificant.

Honesty is a cornerstone of respect. If someone frequently lies to you, whether about big things or small, it shows they don’t care about you enough to be truthful. Lies undermine trust and demonstrate a lack of integrity, making it clear that the person doesn’t value your relationship.

You shouldn’t constantly feel uncomfortable around someone, so feeling uneasy or on edge is a sign that you know they don’t value you, and they might make inappropriate jokes, invade your personal space, or act in ways that make you feel uncomfortable. This lack of consideration tells you all you need to know.

Contempt is a clear sign of disrespect and can be expressed through eye-rolling, sneering, or mocking. Someone who frequently does this to you only reveals that they see you as inferior or unworthy of basic decency, which can affect your sense of worth.

When someone doesn’t pay attention to you when you’re speaking, it shows they don’t value what you have to say; they might be distracted, checking their phone, or just not trying to understand you. This lack of attention indicates they don’t consider you important enough to listen to.

One last way you can tell if someone has zero respect for you is if they’re constantly late, cancel plans at the last minute, or waste your time. All of this indicates that they don’t value your time or see it as important. Respectful people understand and honor the importance of schedules and commitments.

I have always believed that how you dress and conduct yourself on social and corporate levels goes a long way toward gaining respect. Always try to look immaculate in every setting. Personal hygiene and quality shoes always portray a proper person who deserves respect.

How you appear in photos is also ultra important. When you are in the confines of your own bathroom, rehearse in a mirror how you should appear in a photo. A smile and where and how you place your hands, always when being photographed, look behind you and see if there is anything in the background or hanging on the wall that may make you look silly or ridiculous. Like a mounted moose head looking over your shoulder or stag horns that look as if they are on your head in a photo.

The portrayal of confidence in all situations and at all times is another important feature for attracting and gaining respect from those around you. A little self-superiority, not too much, often helps as well. The real secret of it all is having the ability to make others look up to you as someone a little special.

Respect is so important when it comes to your career development. It comes into play when the higher-ups are considering your ideas when they’re choosing people to participate in projects, and—yes—when they’re thinking about who’s getting promotions or raises.

But too often people associate earning respect with, well, not being very nice. I can tell you that’s not the right approach. Instead, try some of the ways below that you can make sure your colleagues like and respect you. You’ll be on your way to being seen as a respected leader in no time.

Do Your Job and Do It Well: Spend time doing your job really, really well. Get a reputation for being really good at what you do, and word will surely get around. When you’re striving for the respect of your colleagues, one of the best things you can do is show you’ve got the right stuff.”

Never Be Late or Miss a Deadline: Along similar lines, get a reputation for being incredibly dependable. That means any promise you make—be it a date to finish a project, an appointment, or anything else—you keep.

Dress Up (the Right Amount): You know the whole “dress for the job you want” commentary? Yes, you should dress a little nicer than you’re expected to but don’t dress up so much that you look out of place or like you don’t fit into the culture. So, if your company has a casual dress code, avoid the sweats and avoid the suit. If they do have a dress code, be sure to look like that immaculately dressed person that others admire.

Treat Everyone With Respect: To get respect, you have to give it—and not just to the higher-ups. People will notice if you’re nice to the bosses but mean to the receptionist or delivery guy and think you’re a creep or a brown-noser rather than a genuinely good person.

Make Friends with the Right People: Seek relationships with others in your organization who are well-respected and well-liked. And we’re not just talking about higher-ups here—think anyone who has a great reputation. Listen—Really Listen.

LinkedIn and Social Media: Remember that everything you write or post, now and in the past, will cause people to judge you on not just what you posted but also the quality and rankings of persons who follow you or who are chosen friends and contacts. I can judge the quality of a person by the company they keep on social media, particularly on LinkedIn.

Focus: Nothing will make people lose respect for you quicker than if they feel like your focus is always somewhere else when they’re talking to you. So next time you’re in a conversation, make sure you’re really engaged. Adopt open body language, don’t let other things distract you, and ask validating or clarifying questions to show you’re paying attention.

Ask People, “How Are You?” Say “goodbye” and “thank you”: Being all business always won’t make you very well-liked. So, take the time to ask people about their lives as well! You’d be amazed how good a simple “How are you?” can make someone feel. Hello and goodbye are the most important things to say to people. Don’t mumble be forthright and positive. Look people right in the eye when engaging them.

Remember Things About People: Taking note of small details about people—their spouse and kid’s names, what they’re doing over the weekend, their hobbies, where they’re planning to vacation, and the like—and then asking them questions about those things or referencing them in conversation can be a surefire way to up your brownie points. It shows that you really listened, took the time to remember, and cared about them as people.

Have an Opinion: Agreeing with everything everybody says won’t make people think of you as a leader. Instead, have a well-thought-out opinion on things, and don’t be afraid to bring it to the table. Whether it’s an idea about a new product or service or a thought on how a process can work better, people will appreciate you thinking of ways to help the organization improve

Listening is important: Don’t talk over people. Allow people to finish what they are saying without mid-sentence interjection by you.

Stay a little longer and finish the job: That being said, don’t jet out of the office every day when the clock strikes five, especially if there’s work that really needs to get done. Have boundaries but show that you’re willing to pull extra weight when it’s really important.

Champion Your Colleagues: Have direct reports you’re proud of? Understand their goals—and do what’s in your power to help them achieve them! Whether that’s setting up a meeting with your boss because you know they want to grow at the company or helping them find opportunities to grow important skills, look for ways to help them succeed.

Be Innovative: Consider everything your firm does and see if you can develop innovations that will profit or save the company money. To be a respected leader, you must portray an innovative and company-oriented mind.

Don’t Complain: Are you tired after a long day and still have more to do? Are you sick of one menial task you seem to be stuck with? Never whine about it, at least not in the workplace. Having a positive attitude about your work is critical to making other people think highly of you. And if you really have a problem with something? See if you can come up with a proactive way to solve it.

If None of that Works: Get out of there and get a new job. Go somewhere and try again. You deserve better.