RESOLVING THOSE LIMITING LABELS

Have you ever thought about the labels that you are inheriting and that are driving so many of your decisions, so many of your life experiences?

Ever realised how damaging self-judgement is to you? Have you given any thought to the way you judge yourself against the labels you have accepted?

What does your work role label mean to you?

I am constantly coaching men and women who are killing off their potential for amazing success because they are trying so hard to conform to the label they have put on themselves in work. It’s another type of self-limiting belief. The good news is that this is a self-limiting belief that can be easily understood and easily treated through some simple thought coaching and focus.

Some examples for you to think about: 

Example 1:

CAREER LABELS

You find yourself in a role that you are satisfied with so you concentrate hard on living up to the job spec.

So many people close doors to other opportunities that could have become part of their amazing work legacy because they are so busy concentrating on just doing their role well. 

Let me share a challenge I have used to coach others for you to try! Regardless of what role you have, when you are back at your desk next, imagine you are in fact, the CEO of the company, the Managing Director. Now ask yourself how will you do your role the way the CEO would? Thinking like the CEO will open your mind to so many other opportunities and ways to deliver your work. You will spot opportunities to collaborate with other pieces of work taking place across the company. You will truly end up living your company values as you go. 

Imagine if everyone in your company thought like the CEO, the Managing Director, think of the improved quality of work and relationships you would experience all around you. Now some would say that it is the job of the CEO to empower people to deliver on this kind of improvement, that they the staff, are only responsible for their role. This is labelling. This is where the damage happens. What if I told you your role had no ceiling, your grade or level was irrelevant and that you could become a critical part of your company’s culture and success? Think of it as a CEO lens that you can apply to how you do your job. Think about how you currently work, now apply the CEO lens, gather the thoughts that come to you, make some notes, think about how you could make those ideas happen and who could help you. The ideas can be directly related to your work or related to the division/unit or the entire company.

Now bring the CEO lens into everything you do related to work and keep using it until it becomes a natural habit and an inherent part of how you operate?

Try it and let me know how it works for you.

Example No 2:

THE PARENTING LABEL

So let’s say you are now a parent. You are researching and reading up on good parenting. You are trying to apply discipline to your kids, you think about those who reared you and you naturally try to repeat what you seen in terms of application while you were a kid. Stop there. 

Let’s flip this. Think about why a child plays up or behaves badly, why is this happening? 

You have two options; when a kid misbehaves you either react in a way you think a ‘typical parent’ would and you let the label drive your disciplinary behaviours or else you do something much more valuable.

Imagine you are that misbehaving kid; you are upset, annoyed, frustrated. Do you think a parent shouting at you, applying aggression or screaming at you is going to help you understand your feelings? I see it doing more damage. Imagine instead having a parent who shows empathy for your upset state and then calmly talks your problem through with you, helping you to find solutions.

Parents have an absolute massive influence over their kids, do you want to have an amazing influence on a child’s beliefs, emotional wellbeing and self-belief or do you want to rear kids that are going to struggle with emotion for a large degree of their lives?

Being a parent offers you an amazing opportunity to raise little people that grow up with quality emotional intelligence and talents that have been nurtured. Don't let the traditional parent labels cloud your reactions or your responses. Help the kid to find the ‘why’ behind their emotions and to then manage their emotions from a young age. You can learn together as you go, give it a try from here on in.

Example 3:

THE SPOUSE LABEL

If it doesn’t bring out the best in you, if its ownership rather than partnership, control rather than encouragement then there is something not quite right.

When we try to conform to the traditional wife or husband label we are in danger of accepting behaviours that will do long term damage to our self-belief, and our confidence. Damage to our self-belief and confidence spills over outside the relationship with our spouse and it influences how we behave with others, our colleagues in work, as parents, as influencers. 

The traditional perception of a wife or a husband often causes difficulty when we try to actually live it out in today’s modern society, yet so many people try to stick to their perceptions of those labels, often causing significant unhappiness for themselves and their partners. Let’s do some work on this topic. What makes you happy in life, what do you enjoy doing? Are you getting to develop your life skills and strengths? Do you have the full support of your partner? Is the spousal relationship a drain or does it provide positive energy? 

What kind of relationship would work better for you, for your partner? Let’s think about what good looks like, the other relationships we have admired around us, our friends, our family? What would make you happiest? Now benchmark that against what you are both actually behaving like in your relationship today, consider if you might be trying to conform to outdated wife or husband labels and then work through to find out where the out-of-sync disparity’s might be. The relationship you have with your spouse or partner is the one of the most influential relationships you have in life. Don’t unwittingly allow the labels to define or limit the experiences in a negative way. 

Labels are for boxes, things, objects, but not people. Be your authentic self in everything you do. Conforming to labels and out-of-date roles limits your potential so be aware, challenge the status quo and live your best life on your terms!

This article was created for you by @bredamccaguecoaching. 

Join me on Instagram @bredathecaguecoaching or on twitter aka @bredamccague for more.

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