Resolving Conflict Successfully

Understanding and Effectively Managing it

Peter G. Furst                                                                                                       May 30, 2020 

Introduction

Some form of conflict is all around us, in the news, at work, and in our private lives. What is important is how we deal with it. The overarching reality is we need healthy discussion and respectful debate. That's how we become effective at work. Of greater importance is the fact that we cannot afford to let disagreements turn confrontational, destructive or label us as difficult and uncooperative people.

Essentially, conflict arises when parties consider multiple competing options, responses, or courses of action to satisfy a particular event or situation or when the involved parties perceive a threat to their needs, interests, or concerns. The organizational or business processes is rife with uncertainty, and uncertainty creates fertile ground for conflict. One's ability to effectively deal with people, elicit their cooperation, and resolve conflict can be critical to the organization’s as well as our individual success.

Background

One of the key metrics in business is performance. Entities whose performance or contribution may be important to the organization’s performance may include employees, the scope and diversity of the supply chain (partners), the vagrancies of the business environment and customers challenges, as well as external factors and changed conditions may cause one party or another to fail to meet their commitment for a myriad or reasons.                 

 The expectation is that they will perform or deliver in accordance with their commitment or promises. These promises are generally based on some information, beliefs based on past performance with some assumptions based on educated guesses. There is always the potential for some unforeseen or accidental occurrence, beyond the control of the person to invalidate the promise or commitment setting the stage for potential miscommunication, misunderstanding, and ultimately conflict.  

Figure #1 – Conflict resulting from relational diversity

Emotion usually plays some sort of role in any conflict and tend to become a barrier to its amicable resolution. Our emotional response to life’s experiences tends to solidify our overall '‘position” on various situations. Once our positions are formed, we tend to look at them as “self-evident truths." This leads to a strong tendency to defend and protect our positions, which, in turn hinder dispute resolution.

Understanding the role emotion plays can be beneficial in how we approach the dispute resolution process. We need to be able to identify whether the issues underlying the conflict are of some significant importance to either party thereby inflexibility colors their “position” Developing insight into some of these factors will go a long way in removing such barriers and therefore lubricate the process, resulting in expediting an amicable solution.    

The words we use in describing or when dealing with conflict reflects our basic assumptions regarding our opponent, the situation, and our “position”. This sets the stage for our approach to the situation as well as shapes our expectations of the process. To assist in creating a situation that will foster resolution, we need to pay attention to the language used. Following are three metaphors.                                                                             

States of Conflict

Conflict may be viewed through different lenses. Which will color a person’s approach to dealing with it. It may be viewed as war, an opportunity or journey, to name a few: 

Figure #2 – Conflict viewed through different Lenses

Conflict Considered as Opportunity

This is a positive view of the conflict situation one faces and tends to foster cooperation between the parties Who then tend to look for opportunities to find a way to create a win for both parties involved. This approach allows each person to state their take on the situation while the other listens carefully, they then discus the pluses and minuses of each position and arrive at an amicable solution, where both feel that they have been treated fairly. It saves time and resources that can be better used by both parties for more constructive endeavors, while creating a positive working relationship between then going forward

Conflict Considered as a Journey

This sort of thinking is transformational and take a long-term view of their relationship rather than a short-term win. This opens up possibilities enabling the parties to compromise and achieve an amicable solution where one party may give in, in order to get a win later so as to resolve the problem facing them. Such an approach gives the process a global context and requires us to look at the "big picture." As a result, our position in one particular situation may take on a whole new meaning and outlook. This sort of approach fosters empathic thinking.

Conflict Considered as War

This approach clearly characterizes obstinance on the part of both parties as each looks for a win no matter what. Invariably in the short-term ne party will win while the other loses. But in reality, both parties lose because the one winning now has basically destroyed any hope of a good working relationship going forward. It is unfortunate, but some organizations may consider such an approach as competition and reward it. This has powerful implications for internal working relationships as it diminishes trust and cooperation while encouraging infighting. On the whole, this approach tends to be counterproductive to the overall well-being of both individuals as well as their organization.                                                                                     

Common Sources of Conflict

Oft times than not conflict in the workplace leads to dysfunction, which is detrimental to relationships and outcomes for those involved. Conflicts that are allowed to fester may lead to anger, which can transform a simple problem into one that may become insurmountable later on. Addressing conflict as soon as it arises is the most effective way to avoid future discord. Conflict arises for a number of reasons, and the most common ones are:

• Faulty communication: Poor communication tends to lead to misunderstanding and discord among people who have to work together. Lack of information, partial information, untimely information, and inaccurate information all can lead to hindering the smooth flow of work does, failing to meet expectations and sets the stage for conflict and animosity.
• Lack of cooperation: A lack of cooperation or a perceived lack of it will go a long way in souring any working relationship. This will also have quite an impact on the ability of employees to perform at their level best.
• Conflicts of interest: Individuals fighting for personal goals may lose sight of project or organizational goals. One tactic may be continually reminding partners and employees how their personal goals and efforts "fit" into the project's strategic goals and outcome expectations.
• Absence of trust: gaining trust takes effort as well as time but losing it is almost instantaneous. Trust is an important ingredient is any positive working relationship between leader and follower, manager and direct reports, as well as inter personal peer to peer contact.
• Limited resources: There are many situations on projects when resources are limited and have to be managed effectively. Conflict may arise over the use of equipment, space, material, time, manpower, etc. Such conflicts must be dealt with effectively so as to maintain harmony on-site. Whenever possible, include employees and partners in the resource allocation process. This will provide them with a better understanding of how allocation decisions are made in the best interest of the project.

These are but a few of the common areas that contribute to the existence of conflict among peers working in organizations, people working for different organization and by virtue of their positions must interact with one another to get things done.                  

Some general damaging and hurtful behaviors which tend to trigger the other parties’ emotional responses and should be emphatically and actively avoided during the conflict resolution process are as follows:

§ Criticism

§ Name calling & character attacks 

§ Dismissive nonverbal signals

§ Silent treatment

§ Utilize meanspirited language

§ Displaying negative assumptions about the other

§ Holier than thou attitude

§ Deceptive mean or methods

§ Control maneuver procedures

§ Showing disrespect

§ Anger outbursts

§ Condemn the other’s tactics or methods

These behaviors or statements tend to take the attention and intent of working towards an amiable solution and focusing on nonproductive and confrontational approaches which not only hinder the desired outcomes but damages relationships and foster animosity, bad feeling and disgust in the process as well as the other person.                                            

Conclusion

The strength and well-being of one’s relationship depends on how one approaches the conflict resolution process as well as how one handles their interaction with the person involved in the dispute. Conflict is healthy and a normal element of a constructive and productive long-term relationship. The overriding goal is not to engage in a fight, avoid confrontation or insults and alienated the other party. The overriding approach ought to constructively and skillfully deal with the outstanding issues and the underlying facts thereby arriving at a mutually acceptable outcome, which shows respect and values the other person’s contribution to resolving the difference in option or position to everyone’s agreement and delight.