Resolve to Add, not Subtract

Why does it always seem we resolve to subtract? We want to lose weight, remove clutter, reduce screen time, etc.? These resolutions have one thing in common: subtraction.

Why do we resolve to punish ourselves?

For instance, as soon as you tell yourself you’re going to cut out carbs, you almost immediately find yourself obsessively craving carbs. Before that declaration you didn’t spend all day dreaming of pasta and bread, but you sure did afterwards. Why? Because you’re putting the focus in the wrong place.

Focus on what you want to add, not what you want to subtract.

Instead of the ever-popular resolution to lose weight, why not resolve to add physical activity or more vegetables as your resolution? You’ve changed the focus of your goal to something positive instead of something that feels punitive. Add the activity, add the salad, and let the weight take care of itself.

Why not resolve to spend one hour per day walking, reading, crafting, or whatever activity you enjoy instead of saying I’m going to reduce my screen time (whether that’s TV or social media) by one hour? Adding the one hour of activity will naturally reduce your screen time without feeling like you’re punishing yourself.

Here are some resolutions I’m considering; maybe they’ll help inspire you to write your own list.

• Set aside 20 minutes per day to play with my dogs.
• Send out “hi, how are you” connects to at least two people per month I don’t speak to frequently. Better yet, invite them for coffee.
• Spend time outside each day, even if only for a few minutes (which I can combine with my dog resolution, or simply count the walk to the mailbox).
• Remind myself daily that it’s ok to have a less-than-stellar-day where a retreat to the sofa is as good as it gets. We all have gray days and the only way back to the light is through. There’s no going around, under, or over – just feel it and keep looking for the light.

I make these resolutions as I think of a good friend, one of the strongest people I know, who is taking her last breaths as part of this world. I learned from her the importance of changing your focus to adding instead of subtracting; the importance of having goals as simple as taking the time to feel the sun shining on your face and just “be”. ?

I hope as you move into the new year you have someone who can inspire you to add; and I hope you can inspire others to add as well.

Together, we can make 2022 the year we add, not subtract.?