Resolutions!

It is that time of the year again!

The time for resolutions. Speaking for myself, I can say with complete honesty that the ratio of successful resolutions to failed ones for me is rather low. This is not a good ratio - so I did some wondering around. And have collected a set of reasons for my resolutions failing time and again. I suspect that these reasons would not be different from those of many others.

Of course - excuses often masquerade as reasons.

Wish Lists

I have discovered that my resolutions are often wish lists. They are all the stuff that is floating around in the mind – as desirables. Except that there is no serious desire to accomplish them.

To make it worse, very often, these lists belong to someone else. And they get foisted on me. Or I foist them on myself. This year we must visit some new destinations where everyone is going says my wife. It becomes my resolution. A friend has worked very hard and is now planning to run the marathon. Voila – it becomes my resolution.

Wish lists come from cultural expectations, social pressures, FOMO or other stuff that is rather difficult to pin down. They can be spur of the moment thoughts or long dormant ideas. Either way - there is no thought put in before making a resolution out of them.

Too …….

I have also found that I make resolutions that are too daunting. Like I must make a trip to the Everest Base Camp this year - before it is too late. Positively. But I do have to clear all the small stuff before I go - so that I can focus fully on the trip. I keep trying to clear the small stuff before even starting the training for the base camp! But the small stuff just keeps coming. And the resolution keeps withering away.

There are others that are too distant in terms of time. Within the next five years I will certainly author three books. This has been a recurring resolution. Some kind of a rolling five year plan. There is a lot of time to do so. Hence, I keep delaying their start - for the next day.

I have also found that many of my resolutions are too vague. Like I must work on fitness. Or I must decrease stress. Whatever I do there is more to do. And since I do not have a measure, I do not know if I have reached anywhere. Most often I do start some activity. But a week or two later it gets lost in the serious business of daily living.

And the last one – too many resolutions. I often make too many resolutions – in order to catch up on the many that I have broken! ?The lost years have to be found. And the year goes by in figuring out which one to start with!

Stop before Start

I have often made resolutions to start doing somethings. But I have never made resolutions to stop doing things that are impediments. I resolve to be fit. But don’t change food habits. I resolve to be more assertive at work. But I don’t get ready to face the consequences. I resolve to let go of some responsibilities. But I am not ready to trust people with them.

Very often to start doing something I have to stop doing something else. That, somehow, is never on my radar.

Get Real

I have found find that I am guilty of over-estimating the positive outcomes (be optimistic I have been told) and under-estimating the costs, risks, obstacles of new resolutions (don’t be pessimistic). Somewhere between these two the sense of realism gets lost. And so do my resolutions.

Déjà vu

Has it has become ‘the thing’ to make resolutions at new year? Or is it a trend past its prime? Why not make meaningful resolutions on other days? The sense of déjà vu is there - but somehow, I am able to overlook it time and again.

Clean Slate

Maybe it is time to start with a clean slate. And stop making resolutions or make them with real intent.