Resolutions or Intentions? How are you beginning your year?

I am not one who is big on New Year’s Resolutions. I prefer daily resolutions, and last year I challenged myself (and all of us) to find our adventure:

For me, finding my adventure will be subtle. There’s an introspection I am exploring. It’s about fearlessly following my path and journey, wherever it takes me. It’s about treasuring life’s journey, today. It’s about growing through adversity, not overcoming it or pushing past it. It’s about treasuring life’s journey and not the destination.

That journey was more than just subtle for me. I had an epiphany mid-year: I’m really stressed and I take it out at home.

In the spring I joined some friends in a class that really explored my spiritual program. I went a little deeper than I had in the past, and then it hit me: Every stressful moment I have “out there” I recreate in my home. I was driving the Sports Dude and my kids crazy with my control issues. But rather than confront me, it created chaos amongst them, which just stressed me out further. We were in a bad loop, and it was really up to me to correct the course. 

I had to change my ways. I made changes to my schedule wherever I could so I wasn’t always rushed after work. I had to change my perspective at work. I found a gym program that worked with my work schedule. I changed my eating habits (again). I sent the dog to an intensive training program. I had to let go of the things I couldn’t change, and accept the things I could. We went on a great vacation where I really decompressed for the first time in forever. I no longer feel guilty when I am doing nothing.

Not sure why this shocks me, but the more I change me, the more others and things effortlessly fall into line. I don’t have to struggle to fix anyone or anything. Turns out that the problems I am having always center in me in some way.

Resolutions v. Intentions

I was listening to a meditation this morning and it was talking about resolutions v. intentions.

Resolutions are intended to fix something that is broken (ie, lose weight). Resolutions are easy to fail at. You either achieve that one goal, or you do not. Resolutions can bring about a sense of failure or guilt.

Intentions, on the other hand, are more compassionate. They are not tied to an outcome, but focus in on our doing our best. There is less space for judgment. We can always start again. It’s not about what we want to fix, but what we want to attain. Socrates (supposedly) said that “the secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

It’s a slight change in perspective, but an important one for personal and professional success.

As we all head back to our offices after a vacation, or just a long holiday weekend, may we toast to a new year of adventures, and intentions.