The Resolution Solution

As we start this new year, I know many of us fall into the frustrating dilemma of resolutions and recreating our lives, habits, relationships, and career... 

Scenario: It's January 2020 and in a frenzied rush, we list all the problem areas in our life and career we'd like to fix and we even put the solutions down on paper: lose 10lbs, get organized, finish my degree, improve my relationships, get that promotion, stop procrastinating, etc. We feel refreshed, invigorated, and have the mantra in our mind "this year will be MY year!" However, the first days of January turn into the first weeks. Many of the resolutions are dead on arrival (looked good on paper, but never intended to do it), the next group struggle than die (hit the gym 3 days in a row for 2 hours and now feel like we've torn muscles we didn't know we had), and the last group of resolutions will maybe survive January…maybe. WHAT HAPPENED? 

So often we look at these experiences as an example of the folly of setting goals. However, goal setting is only the first part, the fun part. Goal achievement requires an organized plan of attack because a goal without a plan is only a dream. We put incredible amounts of pressure to recreate our entire realm each January. We compound the pressure when we set up goals with no timelines, no measure of progress, and no "passionate intent". It leaves a bitter taste in our mouth about the validity of goal setting and our ability as people to change -- neither assumption could be further from the truth! 

 Solution:  

1)    Be patient with yourself. Any new skill, change or improvement takes time, effort and patience. Don't try to do it all today, this week, or this month. Set out a roadmap with each goal broken into bite-size pieces and then put them on a timeline. Anyone who's hit the gym after months off knows this lesson. You work out, feel great, and announce "I'm back!" as you flex. You wake the next morning, reaching for Motrin, moaning, "My baaaack!" 

 2)    Set realistic goals (note: this doesn't mean small goals). Realistic only means you set an appropriate amount of time, break it into bite-size pieces, and make sure you have the passionate intent to give it 100% effort. To know if a goal is realistic, ask yourself this question, "Am I willing to do what it takes -- take the time, spend the money and make the efforts to make this goal happen?" If you say no or maybe (still means no), then it must not be important enough to you to fight for. If your answer is yes, go for it!

 3)    Be an under-achiever. What?! Let me explain. Instead of seeing the hundreds of things we want to change and improve, pick five. If we try to do everything, we end up not accomplishing anything. We only make progress when we can focus our efforts. Sunlight is usually not harmful in the span of a few seconds -- but focus that energy into a beam of light from a magnifying glass and WHOA baby, watch out!

 4) Don't try and recreate yourself every 1 January in one big sweep! Work the improvement process each day, just a little bit. We don’t need to recreate ourselves to be a complete success – we only need to tap a little more of who we are already! As the fun-loving chef, Emeril Lagasse says, “Let’s kick it up a notch. BAM!” This way, when January 1, 2021 rolls around you won't feel the pressure of resolutions, you'll feel the joy of looking back at how far you've come in 2020 and be ready, willing, and able to succeed in another year!