Resolution Hack

It's two months into the new year: How are you doing on those resolutions?

If you’re anything like me, those resolutions--promises to change for the better, hope for a better year--are dusty-on-a-shelf like high school bowling trophies, buried where 2023’s, 2022’s, 2021’s resolutions lie. They’ve been swept to the side by your everyday To Do list, ignored by your modus operandi that doesn’t care and can’t even consider what you set out to do this year.

On my shelf is a family of old resolutions—they look the same, sound the same. Cousins, if not outright siblings. I’ve made these same commitments before—exercise daily, stop snacking after 7 pm, eat mostly whole grain and plant-based, meditate daily, strengthen friendships new and old, etc. Mostly self-improvement habits I want to make or break requiring discipline in my day.

Coincidentally, a few months ago I created a habit of thinking about four things prior to closing my eyes at night and first thing in the morning before I get out of bed:

·??? What I am grateful for

·??? What I am enthusiastic about

·??? What inspires me

·??? Love

I dig into these feelings until I can’t help but smile. Sounds cheesy, but it has brought me more peaceful sleep and a better attitude in my days.

What does this have to do with unfulfilled resolutions?

Most of your resolutions and things you want to change are not automatic. They are new and related to things you don’t like about yourself: flabby body, too scattered and not centered, focused on day-to-day and not connecting with others. But you actually have a lot going for you and these things are connected to what you want and how you want to be.

The things you are grateful for, enthusiastic about, inspired by and love are already part of your life. How can you tap into them in the areas where you want to change?

My gratitude list includes family and friends, health and other blessings I can’t take for granted. But I’m also grateful for the skills, attributes and innate qualities I already possess. I’m calm in the midst of chaos. I’m not easily distracted. I can listen without judgement. I’m an avid learner. I realize I have everything I need to change in ways I want.

·??? When I’m calm in any situation, I bring stillness, attention and thought to it.

·??? When I focus, I don’t mindlessly eat whatever is easy or convenient.

·??? When I listen to myself, I hear my body’s need for movement.

·??? When I’m curious and willing to learn, I reach out to others for connection.

Peter Bregman’s book Leading With Emotional Courage: How to Have Hard Conversations, Create Accountability, and Inspire Action on Your Most Important Work spelled this out for me, but it’s not anything I didn’t know or don’t talk about on a regular basis.

Bringing your strengths, your unique gifts—things you should recognize, celebrate and share—to situations makes most tasks easier and, many times, more fun and enjoyable.

If you’ve forgotten your New Year resolutions already or are trapped in an inability to make the changes you want in your life, try this:

1.? List what you want and who you want to become.

2.? List what you are grateful for, remembering to include not only blessings but personal attributes and gifts.

3.? Step back and ponder the above lists.? Where are the overlaps?

4.? Connect the dots to where your gifts are—what you already have going for you—and where you want to be. How can you use those things you are already doing, already have in your life, to make changes?

My mom used to always say, “Good intentions pave the road to Hell.” (Which scared the heck out of me when I was very young!) Don’t let your good intentions--what you want for your life, what you know you can be--sit on a shelf unattended.

You already have everything you need to win, to thrive, to change.

Acknowledge what you have, where you already win and thrive. Bring those gifts and skills to the forefront to fuel the changes you want in your life.

I’d love to know how this goes for you.