Resisting perfectionism

Perfectionism, or holding yourself to excessively high standards and self-criticism, is the subject of considerable research.? Thomas Curran, a professor at the London School of Economics and Political Science, is an expert on the topic.? In his surveys of college students, Curran has discovered a substantial increase over the past twenty-seven years in the percentage of young people who feel they need to be perfect.? He distinguishes between the pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect and the expectations we feel from others and society at large.? Both types of pressures, he has found, can lead to depression and other mental illnesses.

Another problem is that those suffering from perfectionism have a hard time trying something new because they can’t tolerate that they might fail.? In an ever-changing world this reluctance puts them at risk of falling behind.? Perfectionists are also particularly vulnerable to burnout.? “The way that perfectionists are built,” says Curran, “makes us very sensitive and vulnerable to those setbacks and failures, which occur all the time, because it is a threat to that idealized version of who we want to be and who we think we should be.”

It is hard to thrive as a fallible human being when you fall prey to the trap of perfectionism.? Eric Best, a diving coach who works with Olympic medalists, coached organizational psychologist Adam Grant back in the 1990s when Grant was in high school.? A self-admitted perfectionist, Grant recalls with humor and insight his struggles with imperfect dives in an engaging conversation on his WorkLife podcast with Best in 2022.? To help his divers (and the rest of us) enjoy a healthier relationship to our work or hobbies, Best suggests aiming for excellence rather than perfection.? He emphasizes realistic goals – those that are a reasonable stretch from where you are now, rather than seeking to achieve a “perfect ten” standard.? Learn to measure yourself on progress rather than on distance from an ideal state.? Consciously pick just a few things you want to improve rather than getting bogged down by everything you did wrong.

This article titled "Resisting perfectionism" is excerpted from the book 'Right Kind of Wrong'