RESISTANCE: The Hidden Dragon in Leadership Career Growth
“I am scared of facing the dragons, Suba. Hence, a lot resistant to taking up coaching.”
Both the client and I smiled softly. We knew the deeper meaning of these sentences. This was a follow-up conversation after the discovery call I had with a client in June 2023. The client wanted to be coached but was hesitant because of the inner work she was supposed to do between sessions.
Further conversation gave her the clarity into taking up coaching, we just completed the first agreement last month – 1 year of coaching journey.
We met over a coffee during the weekend as a catch-up call after a few weeks’ gap – which I diligently do to check their energy when they are away from the coaching space. Any form of unnecessary dependency is not good for my client's growth.
“Suba, remember me talking about the dragons last year, I am glad I chose to come out of my shell and so allowed the dragons to come out too. And, you must write about it in your newsletter.” we both laughed out loud as she said that.
Growth is a delicate dance where you balance risk and rewards, stability and change, pushing forward yet controlling, and challenges and opportunities knocking on the same door.
When it comes to Leadership Growth, one may have to dance with two left or right feet too.
A few reasons frequently pop up in my coaching conversations why ‘RESISTANCE’ is part of the DNA of many leaders today
Resistance can come in many forms:
Lack of confidence to make new initiatives, anxiety about feedback giving, delaying decisions, letting go of control, excessive analysis, emotional attachment to the current processes, and the list can be endless.
Let me share a few important hidden dragons that you can take out of your system.
1. Fear
Scenario: Investment in Self-Growth
Fear of Failure: You might resist investing time or resources in your development because you're afraid of failing or not meeting expectations.
For example, you might hesitate to enroll in leadership coaching or training because you fear it could expose your weaknesses or highlight gaps in your knowledge, which could undermine your authority.
Fear of Judgment: You may worry about how others will perceive your efforts to grow, fearing that people might judge you for not already having the skills you want to develop. This fear can hold you back from seeking out growth opportunities.
2. Loss of Control
Scenario: Team Hiring and Grooming
Delegation Challenges: You might resist hiring skilled team members or grooming others for leadership roles because you fear losing control. You might feel that bringing in highly competent individuals could diminish your influence or control over decisions.
For instance, you might avoid hiring a particularly talented team member because you fear they could outshine you or challenge your decisions.
Micromanagement Tendencies: This fear of losing control can lead you to micromanage, holding on to tasks that should be delegated, resulting in inefficiencies and stunted team development.
领英推荐
3. Uncertainty
Scenario: Succession Planning
Fear of the Unknown: You may resist succession planning because of the uncertainty it introduces. You might be unsure about your future role in the organization or how the transition will impact the company's direction. This uncertainty can paralyze decision-making, causing you to delay or avoid planning for your eventual departure.
Risk Aversion: The fear of making the wrong decision about a successor or how to structure the leadership transition can lead to inaction, potentially leaving the organization without a clear future direction.
4. Over-analyzing
Scenario: Investment in New Technologies
Paralysis by Analysis: You might overly analyze every aspect of a decision, which can make you resist making timely investments in new technologies or approaches because you’re afraid you haven’t considered every possible outcome.
For instance, you might spend excessive time evaluating different software options for team management, constantly seeking more data and feedback, but never actually making a purchase.
Perfectionism: This over-analysis often stems from a perfectionist mindset, where you’re unable to move forward until you’re certain you’ve made the "perfect" choice. This can delay progress and prevent the organization from keeping up with competitors.
5. Conflict Avoidance
Scenario: Addressing Insecurity in the Team
Avoiding Difficult Conversations: You might resist addressing insecurity or performance issues within the team to avoid conflict. You may fear that confronting an underperforming employee or addressing a toxic team dynamic will lead to tension or resentment.
For example, you might avoid giving critical feedback to a struggling team member because you don’t want to cause discomfort or create a confrontation.
Maintaining the Status Quo: This resistance to conflict can lead to a culture of complacency, where issues are left unresolved, and the team's overall performance deteriorates. You might prefer to maintain the status quo, even if it means tolerating poor performance or unproductive behaviors.
I can keep giving many such scenarios and deeper content. However, I would like you to spend an extra few minutes in your 'me time' while reading this newsletter.
Are you able to recognize the ‘Resistance’ within you? What are you going to do about it?
?-----
The author, Suba Lakshminarasimhan , is an Executive Leadership Coach and a Systemic Team coach who supports organizations in building high-performance teams through coaching engagements. She intervenes via long-term one-on-one and group/team coaching to address various requirements, specifically in areas such as Workplace Conflicts, Emotional/Self-Management, and Holistic leadership growth.
You can book a discovery call or apply for 200-minute sessions with Suba here: https://topmate.io/suba_lakshminarasimhan/
Connect with Suba to discuss, and collaborate for your company's Leadership Engagement Initiatives. You can write to her at [email protected] to learn more about her practice.
#psychologicalsafety #stakeholdercommunication #workplaceconflictmanagment #emotionalmanagement #mindfulness #decisionmaking #Accountability #innerconflict #perceptionmanagement #siloleadership #Silomentality #multigenerationalteams
?
?
Developmental Editor, Ghostwriter, Author Coach and Storyteller
3 个月I read this and went, "Oh My Mother!" Is it possible for someone to be so resistant they never consent to be coached?
Corporate Trainer , Coach (ICF), Career Mentor, Helping Women Rejoin Work, Competency Mapping , Bach Flower 4 Wellbeing, Ex RIL ,Ex Greaves , Ex UTV , Ex GSPC
3 个月Very nice post and relevant
Executive and Life Coach (ICF ACC) | POSH & Performance Management Consultant | Leadership Facilitator | Mentor to women starting career| Founder – Manolaya | Ex Cargill | Ex Mphasis | Ex Pegasys Consulting, USA
3 个月Being clear on the outcome & why I've decided to pursue the outcome in the first place, always took me a step forward. Good read and breaking up into scenarios was insightful.
?Life & Leadership Coach - Facilitating Leaders grow holistically ? ICF Level 2 Certified Coach ?NLP Practitioner ?Dale Carnegie certified ? HR professional?Certified Access Bars and Reiki Practitioner ?Change Agent
3 个月Thanks for bringing all the possible reasons of resistance that might stop a leader from taking a step towards change for themselves Suba Lakshminarasimhan, PCC (ICF), SP (EMCC). As much as giving up resistance would ease things for the leader, it would also open up greater possibilites for people around them. What if the focus instead of being on what could go wrong, could be be more on what could go right?
Building actionable knowledge to create business value (Board Advisor, Leadership Coach, Facilitator, Author, Speaker)
3 个月A good thought-provoking article on a very relevant subject. The points covered broadly touch upon the main areas, and I enjoyed your writing style, too. Best wishes, and thanks for writing so beautifully.