Resist the Urge to Label Events as Good or Bad

When I was in Nashville last summer to attend the annual gathering of Marshall Goldsmith’s 100 Coaches, we were fortunate to enjoy a performance by three Nashville songwriters. One of them, Pat Alger, told the story of writing the hit song Unanswered Prayers with Garth Brooks and Larry Bastian.

You may know the song, which tells the story of a man who runs into his former high school flame when he’s with his wife at a hometown football game.

The chorus makes the case that just because God fails to answer your prayers (Garth’s high school wish to have the old flame as his own) doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, because the biggest blessings in life can be unanswered prayers.

In recent months, this song has helped me to better understand an adjacent lesson, which is that it is seldom constructive to label any event as “good” or “bad”.

Our natural tendency is to categorize things that happen as good or bad. Yet do we really know the full impact of each life event?

There are certainly events we wish had not happened: being laid off, a tornado destroys a town, your company’s revenues plummet.

But the course of your life is impossible to predict or understand as it occurs. A tragic loss may lead you to perform the work that ultimately serves as your legacy. Your pain may save thousands of others from suffering.

And things we initially categorize as “good” may cause us to pursue paths that aren’t really best for us in the long run (example: pursuing a lucrative career that we are successful at, but that doesn’t really feed our soul).

Labels make it harder to see reality clearly. Something happened. Resist the urge to categorize it as good or bad.

Instead, focus on what you can learn from it, and what you’d like to have happen next.

As Garth Brooks said, “Every time I sing this song, it teaches me the same lesson... happiness isn't getting what you want, it is wanting what you've got.”

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Amanda Setili helps successful leaders and their teams agree on what needs to change and how to make it happen. She is author of?Fearless?Growth:?The New Rules to Stay Competitive, Foster Innovation, and Dominate Your Markets, and?The Agility Advantage, How to Identify and Act On Opportunities in a Fast-Changing World.?

For more strategies, videos and free materials, please visit?www.setili.com, and check out these quick examples of the type of work we do. Or listen to the Fearless Growth Podcast.

?Contact?Amanda?to discuss how she works with companies to improve profits, performance and growth.