Resilience – why your origin story can define your future – Part 2

From law to housing

My parents wanted me to be a doctor, accountant or lawyer and when the time came to leave school I didn’t really know much about what university meant so followed a couple of mates to Middlesex Polytechnic to do a law degree (it became a university in 1992).

I studied law and got a Masters degree in it and I did my first Legal Practice Course at the Guildhall School of Business and Law. I failed the first time and that tested my resilience, I was burnt out and had run out of money.

I applied for roles at law centres and met Beverly Brown, who became my first real mentor and who wrote me a reference just a couple of weeks ago.

She got me a role as a volunteer, then a locum and then I became a law centre trustee – but then I moved into local authority housing, purely because I needed the money. Another pivot.

I became PA to the director of housing at a local authority and I loved it. I told him I would have his job one day and he wanted to fast-track me through the management ranks. But I told him I wanted every job on the ladder before I got to his.

I started as an assistant, then a housing officer, a team leader, housing manager and area manager. But the higher I went,I started meeting people who didn’t like me and I was made redundant.

I took interim positions for a few years, six months here, a year there and I was always gutted when my contract ran out because I thought I did a really good job and wanted to stay there.

Three confidentiality agreements in 33 years

I then took a number of confidentiality agreement-backed redundancies. The first one was at a housing association where the director's role came up.

People said I should go for it. I didn’t think I’d been there long enough to go for it, which was my own imposter syndrome taking over. Another person came in, he got it and tried to manage me out. The management saw what was going on and I took the money.

The second time it happened was at another housing association. Once again, I was promised the world but the chief executive didn't like me, we had an argument, and again they paid me off.

The third time round – and this is still bound by a confidentiality agreement – I got blamed for a couple of things that happened, my director told me I was next in line but he couldn’t take the heat and again I was off with a payout in my pocket.

Three times in 33 years. I had a Masters and became a Fellow. Anyone would ask what’s going on and it seemed clear they didn’t want me in that space and I was never going to become the executive director or chief executive I dreamt of becoming.

You can talk about glass ceilings or different types of isms but I was drained, I’d had enough and I wanted to move on and set up my own business.

Learning how to move on is crucial

At one point, I was put in front of a disciplinary tribunal after a multi-million pound external decorations programme went over budget. I’d warned them it would happen and yet somehow I was still blamed. But I’m a bit of a nerd and I’d kept everything, all my notes. What started out as a gross misconduct charge came down to a learning and training requirement.

That’s my dad’s advice – ‘Be intelligent’ – and so much of what I’ve been through professionally I’ve been able to move on from because I hold dear what my mum and dad held dear.

So I have moved on – and so can you. One of my redundancy packages included the use of a coach to help me get a new job and I was watching her and thinking, ‘I could do this.’

I used some of my redundancy money to get qualified and I got out there and started networking. I didn’t understand what it would take to start a business. I didn't have a business plan. I didn't have my vision or a plan.

I wasted time and money for the first couple of years but I’m in the lane, I’m sticking with it and I will make it work. There’s no choice. That’s my resilience at play.

Because, don’t get me wrong, there’s been some dark moments. I’ve looked at job boards, I’ve spoken to recruitment consultant friends but they could tell I wasn’t into it.

You have to take all the good things and all the bad things that have happened to you and mould them around what you’re doing now.If your mind is elsewhere, you’ll get knocked off track.

So it boils down to consistency, perseverance and resilience. You have to be consistent in your approach to whatever it is you are doing. You have to persevere because it is hard out there. And then you become resilient.

When it’s tough, look at the life you’ve got. Running my own business means I can spend time with my family and do the things I want to do. I couldn’t do that in a nine to five in housing.

Next time, I’ll talk about resourcefulness and why it’s such a crucial trait for anyone in business.

Whether you’re looking to take your business to the next level, start again with a fresh approach or if you just need someone to keep you accountable, I can help. Book a free discovery call with me by clicking here and let’s explore how coaching could accelerate your growth.