Resilience: Survival through Adversity Part 1: Seven ways to live a stress-less life during lockdown

“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” – John De Paola 

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Firstly, it is reasonable to feel scared and feel out of control sometimes.

During this Covid19 pandemic and lockdown, we might feel a bit lost or lonely. But if we don’t snap out of the overwhelming feeling, it will soon shift our perspective of ourselves, allowing self-doubt, anxiety, and helplessness to creep in and settle in our heads. 

What can cause overwhelm?

The number one cause for our stress, anxiety, and overwhelm is our expectations of a particular outcome. We put undue pressure on ourselves to fulfill that expectation which results in causing anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. Besides, when the result defers from what we foresee or imagine, we feel a sense of disappointment. We might experience stress due to the discrepancy in the result.

Managing Expectation of ourselves: Setting unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, the habit of multitasking, being the victim of information overload, the desire to control everything, reluctance to ask for help, and forgetting the bigger picture.

How do you know?

We can sometimes get frustrated with simple tasks and have self-doubt in our capability to complete complex tasks.  

We might experience a fast heartbeat, sweating, tingling, chest pain, or shortness of breath. We could be experiencing self-doubt, Indecisiveness, Irritability, Helplessness, Guilt, Anger.

Finding juggling between family and work seems harder than usual, or completing your project seems impossible.

How did I master the art?

Are you trying to spin plates continuously that you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed?

As someone who has experienced being overwhelmed, I know and understand the devastating effects only too well. The thing is, I was not even aware of it mostly, as I felt it was normal to feel that way. As someone who has witnessed war, migration, and relationship breakdown, I thought I was strong mentally and emotionally. The perception made me complacent, and I ignored my emotions and how my mental and physical health was suffering.

On hindsight, I was under enormous stress consistently and was over the edge trying to complete one task after the other, trying to please one person or the other. It came to a point when I started feeling I couldn’t manage my stress and was very anxious. 

7 Simple Steps you can practice: 

I learned how to overcome overwhelm after months of researching, learning about what caused it in the first place, going through my journals to check how I felt during that time. Here I am sharing the skills I learned in the process, and what I now practice and coach others to prevent experiencing it again and managing it.

1.    Accept your Emotions: 

In the current desire for positivity, we often want to suppress our feelings what we perceive to be negative. Accept you are anxious, overwhelmed, or stressed and take time to understand the underlying reason for it.

 The most important lesson I learned is to accept my feelings. It’s normal to feel anxious when you experience uncertainty, unpredictability, or unexpected change. I remember a kind practitioner saying to me during my recovery “you need to understand it’s normal to be scared.” That was the best advice I got and recall that whenever I go through a period of change now.

2.    Write it down: 

Getting every single thing that is causing stress, anxiety, and overwhelm out of your head and onto the paper is a simple yet powerful exercise.

A few years back, a wise friend had given me a tip to write down everything I was worried about as soon as I feel overwhelmed. When I started practicing it, I instantly felt as if the weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It has also brought somethings to the surface that I was reluctant to deal with at the time.

Brain Dump: This is a skill that has served me well during challenging times. This exercise has not only made me face up to challenges I wanted to shy away from it also made me understand why I am overwhelmed. 

3.    Step Outside the box:

Often, we try solving the feeling of being overwhelmed, from the same overwhelming state and place. You need to step away from the situation, the environment, or even people around for a short while. The distance will aid you to have an objective view of your circumstances and a fresh perspective 

 Stepping out will interrupt your state of mind, change your perspective and help you refocus better. The interruption could be as simple as sitting in a different chair, different room, going for a walk, or even having a tea break. Taking a step back and concentrating on something for a short time gives you the time and space you need to break the cycle of being overwhelmed. 

Take a break: For some, it is walking, running, or exercise, for others it is having a conversation with a loved one or relaxing. What you do in that time is not the important thing; what matters is the break from that mental state of overwhelm.

4.   Stay in the present and delete multitasking: 

Most of us spend worrying about our past or our future. When you start focusing on the present moment, you become more efficient, and your ability to problem solve improve.

Delete multitasking start Single-tasking: from your vocabulary and learn to focus on one thing. This shift in mindset helped me become more productive by prioritising what I needed to get done. Scientists now say multitasking triggers our body to produce more stress hormones. The aftereffects could range from feeling lethargic to short-term memory loss.

Check out your thought: Most of the time we are overthinking and even imagining the unrealistic consequence. 

5.    Look at the Bigger Picture:

Asking the question ‘What is the most important thing for you?’ can be a powerful tool to break the pattern. Sometimes in the process of doing and being busy, we forget the reason we want to do something in the first place. Looking at the bigger picture will help you to prioritise.

Understanding the purpose (WHY): will help you to refocus on what is essential and eliminate unnecessary tasks.

6.   Build your Boundaries:

Having figured out what is important to you and how you want to feel it is now time to create your boundaries. In the digital age between work emails and social media, our life is generally a click away or peep away from distraction and intrusion. Time is one of the most precious resources; it’s crucial to set boundaries. Make a list of things, people, experiences, and tasks which are essential to you and support your feeling of fulfillment. 

I recall, a few years ago, my coach had set me a weekly task, which was to say “No”. I didn’t realise how hard that exercise was to practice.

 Stop being a people pleaser and start to say ‘No’: Learning to say ‘NO’ is so liberating and reduces the overwhelming feeling. Setting boundaries improve your relationship with others- the right ones anyway!

7.    Asking for help:

Asking for help is something most of us struggle with or fail to do. We overanalyse, make assumptions, and refuse to ask. A skill I wish I learnt much earlier. Whenever I had gathered the courage to ask, people have been amazingly helpful. My friends, family, even my coaches, and mentors have been generous and very supportive. The only ones in our way are ourselves mostly. Go on, challenge yourself, try asking for help for the next few days and be ready to be astonished how many people will come forward.

 Stop trying to be a superhero: None of us can do everything or be an expert in everything. We all need help from time to time, and it’s ok to ask for help. Most people are willing to lend a hand and help out when asked. So next time you feel overwhelmed, Just Ask!!!