The resilience process- adapting and succeeding with change

Address at Heineken Saint Lucia Limited’s Scholarship Ceremony 2022

Theme: The resilience process- adapting and succeeding with change

I wish to extend my gratitude for the opportunity to speak at this event, to the staff of Heineken Saint Lucia Limited, parents, students and well-wishers alike. The theme - The resilience process, adapting and succeeding is fitting, but often might easily be superficially understood or taken for granted.

Resilience is a process, like learning, youth development, parenting, business development and personal success. It is the ability to bounce forward, in a range of circumstances and spaces. But someone does not become resilient without experiencing challenges or having a support system that empowers them to be resilient.

Today I wish to focus my conversation with you on creating an ecosystem that fosters the educational success of young people and ensuring their overall formative development. In the same way flowers do not bloom without sunlight, water and fertile soil, neither do children simply become successful because we want them to.

Within the ecosystem that will foster the resilience process of adapting and succeeding I will explore the role of:

• The business community
• Parents and
• Students themselves

THE BUSINESS COMMUNITY

The business community should operate on the basis of good corporate social responsibility. Nurturing this principle includes the provision of scholarship opportunities but also extends beyond it. Serving the community isn’t just good for business, but ensuring that the wider society in which the business operates can reach its best potential.

How is this possible? By ensuring;

• Policies are inclusive of the demands of parenting- school meetings, parent/teacher conferencing, pick-ups after school
• Through integrated programs within communities to develop formative relationships - like sporting competitions, youth development programs, cultural festivals and traditions
• Mentorship programs and opportunities for community service- to build values, skills and opportunities to ensure we build effective citizens

Financial investments do matter. However, people must know that they are valuable in ways that foster an appreciation for relationships, the importance of being good stewards that treasure invaluable investments that have been made in them and the need to also give back.

I was very pleased to have observed as I walked into your premises the safety principle of a culture of care. It is my hope that it is a general company principle. I was also pleased to have learnt that this initiative began in 1985.

PARENTS

I have never met a parent who did not love their child, and did not want to protect them from all forms of harm. Yet, seldom do parents consider that they may sometimes be the obstacles, to the resilience process and success of their children. As a teacher, aunt and individual who spends time with young people I wish to share some observations

Entitlement versus gratitude

Giving your child everything is not the gift we think it is. There is a difference between providing for needs and wants. If I am given everything how can I value anything, or see the need to sacrifice or work towards anything? In fact, it builds the expectation that one is allayed owed something and will not take accountability for their life.

Prioritization of material things versus soft skills

Parents can make raising children an experience of valuing brand-name clothing, hairstyles - concern for the outer child, while forgetting the needs of the inner child, good emotional health, establishing boundaries, assuming responsibilities via chores in the home, demonstrating respect and concern for others, being aware of their spirit, praying and knowing God exists. Outside of your children’s academic performance or how they look what do people say about them

Fostering adversarial attitudes instead of responsibility and respect

It has become an increasing concern for me that too many parents become adversaries of teachers, and schools, and enlist their children in similar behaviour. You have rights and also responsibilities. Please remember teachers and school officials are in a partnership with you in caring for your children.

Exchanging interdependence for independence

At secondary school, your children are still children. They require even more attention than they did in primary school. Call their teachers, review their notes, ask about their homework, inquire about how their day went, the people they meet, and the experiences they enjoy.

Projecting our expectations and goals instead of understanding and encouraging our children’s potential

I had the opportunity to speak with a young lady who was pursuing medical studies but experiencing academic challenges. She was in tears, filled with anxiety, and worried that she would let her family and friends down if she didn’t continue her course of study. Create a safe space so that your children can lead healthy and happy lives that doesn’t involve carrying unreasonable parental expectations of who they should be and what they should do, even at the expense of their emotional and psychological well-being.

The Comparison Factor

Why can’t you be like…?

Don’t you see how well …… is doing?

Any engagement in comparison will result in someone having more or less than someone else. Do not play the comparison game with your children.

Nurture their strengths and encourage improvement in the areas that are necessary. Every child is a light, and need not have a starring role in every class or space.

STUDENTS

It is crucial that you find joy in learning, you give your best in every classroom and extracurricular activity you participate in.

You were born during a time when going to school is seen as normal and not a luxury. But for some of your parents it was based on a shift system similar to the experience of students during the pandemic, and for your grandparents or great-grandparents attending secondary school was not possible at all.

You worked hard in primary school. And as you transition to a new level, you have to prepare yourself to stretch and not settle.

What is the root word of students?

Students study.

They read, they research, and they do homework.

Why should you have received a scholarship over other deserving students?

You will determine the 'why' by what you do with your time at school.

This can be measured by:

• Your grades at the end of the school term
• How you respond to a challenging subject
• The way you speak to and interact with teachers, the principal, cleaning staff and security officers
• Your contribution to school life- as a peer counsellor, as a member of the students' council, school choir, track/basketball
• Your response to school rules
• How you treat your parents

Do not lose yourself trying to fit in among friends who might place you in positions that compromise your opportunities, relationships with parents and teachers, and the life you would like to have out of school.

Your secondary school life is short, but it is impactful. It will help in deciding how you further your education, the career/ job you can pursue, who recommends you for opportunities, and how you might be able to assist your parents and your community.

You are intelligent but Saint Lucia is filled with intelligent children. What is the difference between you and them?

1. Some do not have homes
2. Some have homes but without electricity, running water and Wi-Fi
3. Some must work to pay their way through school and buy food for themselves
4. Some have parents, but they may not be able to read or write or help them with their homework
5. Some may love school but have the added responsibility of caring for younger siblings and family members and are forced to miss out on school

Why do I share all these things with you? Because it is crucial that you know what you have to be able to value it.

The resilience process- adapting and succeeding requires an ecosystem of protective factors. How you adapt or change will be determined by what you see modelled around you, your goals and the things that you value. Success is a very personal experience that will be defined by your story, your dreams, gifts and challenges. It is my hope however that the ways that you define it will consider:

*the need to become the best version of yourself

*that you are human, you won’t be perfect, you will be disappointed, and the way you imagined success will evolve- so be gentle with yourself

*passion, happiness and peace are important ingredients for success

Deep success goes beyond an individual, to benefit others who need a helping hand- because nothing we ever truly accomplish is a product of only our work or effort.

I wish you all success, learning, joy, growth and a strong spiritual grounding that helps you on this journey.

Thank you