Resilience and the Mask

Resilience and the Mask

Are you wearing a mask?

Just as a physical mask hides our faces and emotions, wearing a metaphorical mask can prevent us from expressing our true feelings about trauma.

In his poem entitled "We Wear the Mask", Langston Hughes wrote:

We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,

This debt we pay to human guile,

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

and mouth with myriad subtleties.


Why should the world be over-wise,

In counting all our tears and sighs?

Nay, let them only see us, while

We wear the mask.


We smile, but oh great Christ, our cries

to thee from tortured souls arise.

We wing, but oh the clay is vile

Beneath our feet, and long the mile,

But let the world dream otherwise,

We wear the mask!

To wear a mask is a coping mechanism. Wearing a mask helps us to function in society while concealing the pain, sadness, and anger we feel inside. Constantly wearing a mask can be exhausting and prevents us from fully healing and growing from our experiences.

The mask I wear most commonly relates to racial trauma - from those within my racial group (colorism) and from those of other races (racism). Following are "Resilience Ready" skills I've developed and continue to practice:

  • Accept and validate your feelings - I am "Unapologetically Black" - I choose to acknowledge and accept the fact that some people don't like me or feel that I am less than because of the color of my skin. I am Black and Beautiful from my rich highly melanated skin to my kinky, natural. If others don't see my beauty - they - not me - are missing out.

What are people missing out on in your regard?

  • Seek support - My best times are spent with others who appreciate me for me. Connect with others who can offer validation, empathy, and understanding. Limit the time you spend with others who are wearing masks. If they are wearing a mask may not be able to be authentic with you. Know that counseling is also available to help you process your experiences and develop "Resilience Ready" skills. Choose a counselor who is not wearing a mask.
  • Take action - At this moment, I am proud of the Tennessee 3. The legislators of their state expelled them. Instead of leaving quietly, they are making the world aware of the injustice. They are Standing Up and Speaking Out!
  • Engage in self-care - There will ALWAYS be someone trying to put you in the place they believe you belong. NOT! KNOW that you matter. Take good care of yourself. Limit the time you spend with people who have negative mindsets.

Know that you were wonderfully made by the Creator. Removing the mask is a choice.

Th!nk Possibilities!!!

#wewearthemask #trauma #resilienceready #thinkpossibilities

Debra Mathias Dr. Lynda Morris Parham Rita Renee Angela Moore

Dr. Lynda Morris Parham

Speaker· Trainer · Wellness Expert · Writer

1 年

Thank you for this clear and informative description of "wearing the mask." Many people have been wearing masks for so long they have forgotten or never really found their authentic self. Nurturing, loving and expressing your true self is a freedom that makes life worth living everyday. I always love the poetic voice of Langston Hughes- art is an avenue for the soul.

Carol Small

LATAM Bound. Your #1 Real Estate Broker, I will Sell Your Home, Estate, Land, Probate Property, Multi-Family Homes in NC. Notary Public.

1 年

Thank you so much! I have printed out and affixed your "Accept and validate your feelings" paragraph to my desk!

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Deidre Beacham

Unmask Your Power Voice. Take Up Space. Lead Like a Badass. | Speaker | Founder of The Nice Girl Revolution

1 年

This is great! So funny, I was just thinking about this concept over the weekend. I called it a "disguise". I was thinking about the unbelievable lengths I would to through to make myself into what I thought society expected of me rather than staying true to myself. I was also thinking about how this concept of "fitting in" is lauded by many white families... quite possibly where the term "black sheep of the family" came from. It was a way of shaming an individual to conform, come back to "our way of thinking"... conform. If not, you're the "black sheep". So much to unpack. I feel I've gotten off track. The point is, I agree, we need to take off our masks, our disguises, and stand up for ourselves and each other. Thank you.

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