Resilience: A Journey with the Words of the Wise

In the midst of winter, I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer. Albert Camus

Many of us, at some point, pass through ‘the valley of the shadow of death’ (Psalm 23) or, at least initially, ‘refuse the call’. If we follow Joseph Campbell’s ‘monomyth’, there seems to be an elemental side of the human psyche that requires us to die to the old, pass through a series of ordeals (or trials), to be reborn.  For some it might seem like going through a fiery crucible for an indeterminate period of time. Not knowing when it will end, if ever, compounds the pain. Bereavement, divorce, illness and trauma are all woven into the fabric of life but in the midst of our suffering we must know, as Edward Fitzgerald stated, that ‘this too shall pass’ and that, to quote an African proverb, ‘however long the night, the dawn will break.’

Resilience is something we develop. Cultivating compassion for ourselves, in the midst of the perfect storm, helps us hang on and helps us through. ‘The best way out is always through’, said Robert Frost and as Shakespeare wrote: ‘what wound did ever heal but by degrees?’ Patience, endurance and acceptance are the bedrock of resilience, along with the will to work through (and with) our pain until, eventually, it falls away. There are many things that can help us through the darkness and quotations have always been a tremendous source of strength for me, knowing that others have been through so much, have passed through the storm, and with such kindness, shared their insights to help us through ours.

The treasure or gold we gain from great adversity is wisdom and Kahlil Gibran’s words are, to my mind, a reflection of great wisdom attained through this journey or transit. ‘Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding’, he said. Horace also wrote that ‘adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant.’ How many times do we hear people say things like “I don’t know how I got through it but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have understood ‘this’ (or gained ‘that’) and I’m the richer for it.” The riches I refer to are not gold.

Inner resilience and outer resilience both require courage but more than that Shantideva observed that: ‘If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good’. Knowing what to accept and let go of is as important as knowing what to pursue and what to do, hence having or cultivating ‘the wisdom to know the difference’. Trust your own gut or intuition in this, always.

The psychiatrist, Dr Victor Frankl said that ‘he who has a why to live for, can endure almost any how.’ To have a goal takes the onus of the ‘I’, the ‘I’ that suffers or is in pain. Working towards recovery or an external goal is life-affirming, especially if it benefits others. As the Russian proverb goes: ‘Little drops of water wear down big stones.’

Copyright ? 2017 by Richard K Potter BA Hons PGCE MA www.creativity4wellbeing.com and www.richardkpotter.wix.com/richard