Resilience in Difficult Times

Take a breath. This will pass.

The rapidly changing nature of events around us at the present can cause anxiety, however, there are a few simple things we can do to both use and build our resilience, and the resilience of others around us.

The current pandemic, and the responses to it, have resulted in changes to all of our daily lives. People don’t generally like changes and/or uncertainty. We establish patterns and habits precisely to create some certainty about what is to happen in our lives. This is of course an illusion as nothing in life is certain. But when we feel a sense of threat to ourselves, or the people we care about, and we can't see or know for certain where the risk lies, the precarious nature of health, our way of life and the future comes to the fore. Essentially this is all focused on the questions "Will I be okay?" and "Will the people I care about be okay?". Not knowing the answers is what upsets our equilibrium and increases our sense of unease. 

What is resilience?

Resilience is where we experience adversity, and yet, find new ways of coping to reduce the negative impact of threats, on ourselves and our lives. Let me begin by saying that anxiety in difficult times is a perfectly normal response, but resilience offers practical steps to reduce this unease, and promote a sense of wellbeing. Living with ambiguity and stress can have an emotional labour on us, so anything we can do to reduce this is worthwhile. The good news is that we all have resources that we can use in difficult times. In order to focus these resources, I refer to three key areas of:

·      Meaning making

·      A sense of mastery and control

·      Connectedness to self and others

Quieten the noise and focus.

In order to focus ask yourself the following questions, which I have adapted from the work of Caroline Webb, and from my own research on the experience of uncertainty in life with dementia. (You can read more about Caroline at carolinewebb.co) :

1. “No-one knows everything about this situation, so what are the things I know for sure? What can I do, based on that?” (MEANING MAKING).
2.  “What kind of approach or attitude do I want to have about this situation? Given that, what choices do I want to make?” (SENSE OF MASTERY AND CONTROL).
3. “Who are the helpers in this situation? And who can I help?” (CONNECTEDNESS).
4. “What feels familiar to me in this, given my knowledge, skills and past experiences? And what does that tell me I could do now?” (MY RESOURCES).
5.  “What can I learn from this? What will I do differently as a result?” (MY ACTIONS).

By simply asking and answering these questions we are using resilience.  

If you want to know more about resilience and using it practically then please contact me. Meantime, take a breath, and know that this will pass.

Promoting Resilience in Dementia Care

Photo by Dr Richard Ward.