Resilience against toxicity - Spotting toxic behavior

After looking at negative habits we might impose upon ourselves, we wish to take some time in the coming weeks to talk about a related topic: Workplace harassment and bullying.

It is hard to believe, but some fail to pick up the skills for work-appropriate, polite social interactions in shared spaces. Many picture the typical schoolyard bully from a broken home when speaking about bullies. However, bullies can be encountered later in life as well. From bosses who fail to include the well-being of employees into their company, over mean-spirited office gossips, all the way to the eternally unhappy who seeks to spread their negativity. While some friction points can stem from accidental misunderstandings, what we aim to address is willful hurt inflicted on others.

Once we enter adulthood, we can find that between one-third and one-half of our life is different levels of grinding away at jobs and careers. In some cases, we spend more time at work than we do with our loved ones. As such, it is in our best interests to ensure that work is a fiscally sound place and, more importantly, a healthful and emotionally safe space.

However, employees can feel unwell when they think about work, engage with certain coworkers, or start to dread specific meetings or regular tasks. Such feelings can stem from workplace toxicity.

From thoughtless microaggressions, to unkind and targeted practical jokes, all the way to malicious and directed attacks – antagonistic behavior at work comes in many forms. Worse, if we do not spot it immediately and take steps to ensure we, our coworkers, or our employees are safe, then such demeanor can grow into gaslighting and self-doubt. “Haha, they hid my stapler again. They do like to joke around…” grows into, “This really isn’t nice… or am I the only one thinking that?” or a helpless, “Well, someone will step in if it’s going too far, right?”.

However, when taking a closer look, it can become evident that the problem isn’t lacking a sense of humor or a lack of team spirit. Have you noticed any of these situations?

·????????You’re left alone and feel unsupported

·????????Other coworkers appear unmotivated

·????????No-one steps up to stop rude acts

·????????Hardly anyone sticks around, and the turnover is rapid

·????????There’s no concern for work-life balance

·????????Cliques, mean-spirited gossiping, and exclusionist behavior

·????????The job you interviewed for is not what you do

·????????Leaving work full of dread and arriving still upset the next day – for extended periods

·????????Finding yourself acting out of character frequently

Some of the above can occasionally happen to anyone. However, if you are starting to realize there is a pattern affecting you or others, you should investigate if there is a problem that needs to be solved.

Respect for your coworkers is an absolute minimum we should bring to the table as adults. While there is no expectation that we are best friends with all our employees and coworkers, an air of professionalism is vital. Even coworkers you might disagree with on specific subjects – how they dress, what food they bring for lunch, which religion they follow – at work, you’re all laboring towards a common goal that should be the focus. This includes respect for their role, position, experience, and dedication to their share of the workload.

Let’s say a very engaged vegan keeps attacking others for the meals they eat – the tuna salad, the ham-and-cheese sandwich, the milk in their coffee – it becomes an issue. Even more so, if it leads to coworkers starting to avoid locations, this coworker might reject meetings they feel are not vital enough to avoid interacting with that employee or even start reacting aggressively in turn.

While not necessarily bullying, such conduct can swiftly grow into a more significant problem. Addressing it with this coworker or even asking for backup from a manager to discuss why their passion is causing friction can help turn things around. Next week, we will examine why and how to address toxic and bullying behavior.

There can be other, more direct methods of bullying in the workplace. For example: If a job posting is about an engineering role, but the hired employee finds themselves turning into a personal assistant for their supervisor, they find themselves expected to be on-call for issues when this isn’t part of the contract, or they are finding themselves isolated from team efforts - then something has gone wrong.

We find fulfillment in our work, and we all are specialists in our respective fields. While it is okay to be asked to pitch in here and there, or it might even be suggested to shift one’s focus for the sake of a project for a while, other requests are not appropriate. Turning someone into the person who goes fetch coffee and makes photocopies without any resemblance to their previous skills is a huge warning sign and needs to be addressed.

Filling an office with balloons for a birthday, welcoming a coworker back from vacation with all their items wrapped in aluminum foil, or hiding the coworker’s office supplies in a box inside a box inside a box can be a fun prank if done once a year. Everyone has a laugh, the cleanup is done together, and the one pranked does not feel harmed. However, when actions like the one described are done repeatedly, there is a problem. If the team is laughing at the person and not with the person pranked, steps need to be taken to break up the pattern.

As previously mentioned, we will address steps to take if the experienced harassment and bullying impact the wellness experienced at work. We have given some examples of how to spot toxic conduct this week. Should you feel you are in such an environment after reading today’s article, remember that you don’t have to wait for our review next week. Googling terms such as “toxic workplace checklist” or “spotting toxic behavior at work” can get you started on finding help if you need it right away!