Reshaping The Way You Think About Forgiveness Starts With Using It More Often

When I first met Shankar Poncelet , he had this second-nature habit of saying "I forgive you" and asking for forgiveness over the tiniest transgression, something I didn’t fully understand at the time. I remember thinking, Wow, forgiveness is such a powerful thing. But for us to say it so often? It felt a bit excessive, maybe even unnecessary, so I would sometimes discourage it. Not openly, but I would just shrug or softly shake my head as I sighed and said, "It's okay." Slowly, over time, we both drifted away from those phrases, and they became less and less a part of our relationship.

But recently, I’ve started to realize how meaningful forgiveness is, especially in a relationship where emotions can feel hard to manage. Whether it’s hormonal shifts, lack of sleep, sickness, or just the wear and tear of daily life, things can get tense. And in those moments, a simple “I forgive you” or “Can you forgive me?” does something powerful—it’s like lifting a weight. Saying it out loud not only releases anger but also sends a message to your brain: let it go.

...a simple “I forgive you” or “Can you forgive me?” ...sends a message to your brain: let it go.

This act of forgiving is intentional, a conscious choice, and it transforms us. Too often, people will say “I’m sorry,” and the response might just be “I’m okay” or silence. But there’s a world of difference between “I’m okay” and “I forgive you.” When you hear “I forgive you,” it rewires your brain to think of forgiveness as an act of release rather than just a response. It’s a decision to let go, and it brings a sense of closure that “I’m okay” never quite does.

Forgiving has a way of reshaping your perspective. It encourages a deeper bond by reinforcing a cycle of acceptance and grace. In those moments, your brain aligns with your intention, supporting you to genuinely move past whatever tension was there. It’s like giving yourself permission to release frustration and start fresh, building a relationship with space for love, empathy, and understanding.

Final Thoughts on Forgiveness...

I know I sound like Jerry Springer, but my final thoughts are about how forgiveness also strengthens resilience as a couple. I have seen it. We have created a foundation for navigating challenges because of practicing forgiveness regularly. Not just letting go of immediate frustrations, But building a skill that becomes second nature. We're reinforced that no matter what, we’re both committed to moving forward together.

My advice for anyone in a relationship, not just romantic, is to remember that forgiveness allows you both to see people's humanity, reminding you that imperfections and misunderstandings are part of the journey. Forgiveness has nothing to do with excusing behavior but about choosing to prioritize the health and longevity of your relationship over temporary conflicts.

The sky always looks blue when you're in love and have learned to see life for what it is!

Now, doesn't he look cute?

Mindfully,

Antréa

In case you're interested in what I do, I'm COO at YouGrow.Club . You can sign up for Growth Academy updates, insights, and challenges to grow your brand on LinkedIn. Feel free to share this reflection and join the conversation in the comments.