Resetting Behavioral Expectations: The Keyboard Analogy

When setting and maintaining behavioral expectations, the biggest challenge is maintaining confidence in what you’re doing. You either try to navigate the conversation in a vain attempt to set clear expectations while coddling their feelings. Either a) you fumble over your words and make a bigger mess, or b) it misses them completely, so they just keep behaving the same way. Either way you end up feeling even more frustrated and seeing the other person as the problem. “why do they have to take everything I say with offense?” or “why do they actively disregard my authority and the expectations I set?”

On the other hand, instead of trying to avoid damaging their egos, you may muster up the courage to tell it to them straight. “If I tell it objectively and honestly, then what do they have to be mad about? I will be transparent and respectful but set expectations firmly.” 

Then the employee explodes. You’re called a bully and unfair. They say that Janice and Karl aren’t looked at under a microscope like they are. The union is pulled in (as if that’s a bad thing), and you’re left feeling victimized for only trying to do the right thing. So, what do you do? Chances are you back off. You see them react harshly to your critique and second guess yourself. “Maybe I am being a little too harsh…”

This is the exact moment that you want to prepare for. You wanted to set a firm expectation, no matter the response. In fact, you even hoped you would see some sort of reaction from the employee. Why? The Keyboard Analogy.

What’s the Keyboard Analogy, you ask?

You’re working on your computer, typing away. You’re in the zone. Then, suddenly the ’N’ key stops working. ow you ca’t type aythig that makes sese.

Sorry, I needed a new keyboard. 

Anyway, instead of immediately recognizing that the “N’ key no longer works, and swapping out for a new keyboard, you try to figure out why it stopped working as you expect it to. You might press the key a little harder, shake the keyboard, bang the keys to loosen… something, or even take pliers to it and see if something got underneath because when I hit ’N’ an ’N’ should show up, damn it! Only after exhausting your options do you opt for a new keyboard. 

Even if someone notices you working on fixing the issue and offers, “Maybe it’s broken. The budget office has new keyboards if you need one.” You may be too proud and wave them off. “Thanks, Brian. I got it.” You end up still trying to make it work but give up more quickly and grab that new keyboard from Budget that Brian, the office know-it-all, told you about. 

Setting expectations is basically the same process. Your employee has always pressed the ’N’ key when it was needed to function in the workplace and do their work. You as the supervisor are now telling the employee, “Sorry, that key doesn’t work like that anymore.” So instead of immediately saying, “Oh! Thanks, boss! I’ll grab that new keyboard right away!” They will force the issue, and this time, a bit harder. They’ll bang on that button a few more times. And only through your consistent response of, “Sorry, that button doesn’t work anymore. Go get a new keyboard.” do they finally start to get the picture, and head over for the Budget office.