Replace Shoulds With Coulds
Brian Ford
Using personal development to fundraise for charity | Self-Improvement Podcaster (20+ million downloads) | Social Impact Leader (Nonprofit founder at For Purpose Foundation)
We all have a lot of ‘shoulds’ in our life.?
They can be self-imposed - I should eat healthier. I should spend less time on Facebook. I should be more present at dinner with my loved ones. I should have more focus at work…
And they can be imposed by others - You should have a stable job. You should get married. You should stop hanging around with that person. Or even you shouldn’t spend so much money on that…
Things are already hard enough as they are and the added pressure of knowing you should be doing things differently adds extra weight that is heavy to carry. And I imagine that you’re already trying your best. So let’s make one simple switch in vocabulary to completely change the meaning of these recommendations.
Trade out ‘should’ for ‘could.
I could eat healthier. I could be more present at dinner with loved ones. I could spend less time on Facebook. Or you could have a stable job. You could get married. You could stop spending so much money on that.
Doesn’t that sound completely different? What it does is it creates?empowerment. Instead of feeling out of control, it brings awareness to the choice you have to make things different. It’s a way to frame the exact same concepts so that they’re much more approachable and available rather than prescribed to fix you.?
Your self-imposed 'shoulds' shift to an awareness of areas for improvement. The 'shoulds' imposed by others shift to perspectives that you can consider and ultimately choose how to relate with for yourself.?
So the next time that you catch yourself saying that you should do this or that, change the narrative to what you could do about it and see how your energy around it changes. And the next time someone tells you what they think you should do, think about it as something that you could do and see how much more receptive you are to it.
If you want to start seeing your potential in ways you never have, and feel inspired by the possibilities of what life 'could' be rather than what you're telling yourself it 'should' be... So that you’re not only inspired by who you can become but genuinely following through on it in a way you never have before, start right now by installing your Super Habits system.