A renewed focus on kindness and empathy

Here in Florida, we are no strangers to disasters with devastating impacts on our communities. Just a few weeks ago, Hurricane Ian destroyed huge areas of Florida’s west coast and devasted towns and cities further inland. We also just handled Hurricane Nicole last night so the stressors continue. I’ve lived through hurricanes in both Texas and Florida, so I understand the threat and know how stressful hurricanes can be for those affected. In this particular case, what made me hopeful for the future was seeing the incredible degree of human kindness and empathy that spread through our state and the country in the aftermath of Ian.

At Nicklaus Children’s, we mobilized quickly to transfer children from hospitals in the affected areas to other facilities in South Florida accepting patients for Hurricane Ian. ?We didn’t do that to look good or to increase our occupancy rates. We did that because it was the right and ethical thing to do. We are a proud member of our Florida community and it is our duty to help whenever we see children and their families in need. Empathy – and the moral duties that come with it – is an important value of our organizational culture. Kindness is woven throughout our fabric, and we are very proud of that. In fact, empathy ?is one of our six organizational values and guiding behaviors.

A history of kindness

When you look at our history, you’ll find a number of examples of Nicklaus Children’s employees and leadership going above and beyond to help those in need. Proudly I can say it is simply?in our DNA, from the day of our founding. When Operation Peter Pan took place between 1960 and 1962, which brought thousands of children from Cuba to the U.S. and in particular Miami, we were among the primary healthcare providers for those children arriving in our community. Operation Peter Pan was without doubt one of the cornerstones of our organizational history. When Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005, we sent helicopters to help fly out pediatric patients and bring them to safety. This sense of empathy and responsibility for those who need us the most continues to this day.

But empathy is a term that is thrown out there a lot. We hear it after natural disasters, whenever people are in need, but also in day-to-day interactions with colleagues and the patients we serve. Future doctors and nurses these days often have to prove their emotional intelligence when applying for medical school. “EQ” is slowly replacing, or at least amending, IQ in healthcare and medicine. Emotional intelligence, in turn, rests solidly on empathy and human kindness. But what do these concepts even mean beyond being popular buzzwords? And how can we be more empathetic and kind leaders without sacrificing clarity in communication?

Some leaders, unfortunately, believe empathy means starting feedback with “this is great, BUT…” or refraining from giving honest feedback at all because they are afraid they could be perceived as not being empathetic enough. Colleagues turn a blind eye to errors because they don’t want to be seen as unkind. None of that is true empathy. Empathy means being able to put oneself in another person’s position, understanding their views and feelings. But it is also a two-step process – understanding and being capable to act on that understanding. It means showing empathy and then acting in a kind and understanding way.

A culture of empathy

As the president of a children’s hospital, it is my duty to help foster a culture of empathetic leadership and collegialism. The truth is that we can be empathetic and clear in our communication at the same time. We can be kind and still give productive feedback. We can show empathy toward patients, their families, and colleagues even when we are overworked, which I know happens from time to time. Especially in times when we’re overwhelmed – like during a global pandemic – it is critical to be empathetic, kind, but also very clear in what the expectations and issues are. We must never sacrifice clarity, conciseness, and honesty based on a false sense of empathy.

To me, it all starts with active, purposeful listening. We often forget that communication is not a one-way process. It means speaking and, even more important, listening. Becoming an active listener does not come naturally to a lot of people. The communications theorist Paul Watzlawick coined the phrase “you cannot not communicate,” which I believe to be true and highly relevant to the concept of empathy. What is it that the other person is saying and not saying? What is their intent and purpose? What is said between the lines that is relevant to me as the listener? Leaders must be capable of understanding most of that before we can act. Again, it’s the idea to understand someone’s feelings and then act on that understanding. There is no understanding without real listening.

The trickle-up effect of empathy and kindness

?For an organization to be able to show human kindness and empathy for many decades, as Nicklaus Children’s has managed to do, that culture needs to be lived at the bottom and trickle up. What I mean by that is that everyone who works in our hospital came to us because they believe in our mission and our dedication to creating a better, healthier future for children. Our patients and their families are treated with kindness and empathy from the time they call to make an appointment, to the moment they walk through one of our doors, to the day they are released or followed-up with over the phone. That is why empathy is one of our six foundational organization values.

In order for us to show empathy on a large scale, like during Operation Peter Pan or, more recently, in the aftermath of Hurricane Ian, we need to practice empathy and kindness in our day-to-day roles. An organization that doesn’t live empathy and kindness day in and day out will never be able to act with kindness on a larger scale in a genuine, credible, and effective way. The way we communicate with each other at work has upstream effects throughout our culture. The coronavirus pandemic and the daily struggles that came with it on a personal and professional level have shown how incredibly important empathy and kindness are. I hope we carry the lessons learned forward and make them actionable.

As a bioethicist by training, this topic is dear to my heart and in this short post I was only able to scratch the surface of empathy and human kindness. My intent here is to start a conversation on how we can be more effective leaders and build purpose-driven, empathy-focused organizations. In our field of pediatric healthcare this topic is of particular importance. I look forward to reading your thoughts in the comments.