Renaissance Men - Are you looking after your needs?

The effects of the relentless pursuit of success often lead men to sideline their own needs. This is especially true for men in leadership roles, where the pressure to perform and meet the expectations of others can be overwhelming.

In the fast-paced environment of executive leadership, it's easy to focus solely on the needs of others — your team, clients, and family. However, one crucial aspect that often gets overlooked is your own well-being. Understanding and meeting your own needs is not a luxury; it's essential for maintaining peak performance, both personally and professionally.

Let's take a moment to define "NEEDS"!

For many men, this word conjures up just one thing - Sex!?

For the purposes of this conversation, sex may be a need, but I want to expand the definition of what a?need is.

A need is something that you are not OK without! Needs may include time with friends, the quality of what you eat and drink, intimacy, sleep, time alone, and exercise—the list is endless and personal.

When I ask my clients about meeting their needs, I often get a blank stare, as if I am speaking a language they don't understand, and that may be true. Most men never stop long enough to ask themselves the question! Read on to find a link to an exercise where you can start to explore and define your personal needs - it may be the most important exercise you do this year.

Recognising Unmet Needs

Take a moment to reflect on your recent experiences:

• Have you been irritable with the people you love due to over working or?stress?
• Are you taking the long route home to delay your arrival?
• Have you been losing sleep, your mind racing and seeking solutions to impossible tasks?
• Do you feel guilty about taking time for yourself or spending money on your own development?

If you answered "yes" to any of these, your needs are likely not being fully met.

Let's dig deeper into what happens when you neglect to take care of yourself and explore the profound impact this can have on your life.

The High Cost of Neglect

When you ignore your needs, the consequences go beyond physical exhaustion:

1. Broken Relationships: Constantly sacrificing your well-being for others leads to resentment and frustration. Imagine coming home late every night, too tired to engage with your family, or snapping at them over minor issues because of stress from work. Over time, these fractures can erode the very relationships you cherish.

2. Compromised Health: Ignoring your body's signals leads to serious health issues. Chronic stress can manifest as headaches, high blood pressure, and even heart disease. Lack of sleep affects your immune system and cognition, leaving you vulnerable to illness and making it difficult to focus on your tasks.

3. Emotional Turmoil: Men often bear the burden of others' expectations, feeling compelled to suppress their emotions. This can lead to emotional exhaustion, depression, and anxiety. It's like living with a storm brewing inside, waiting to unleash its fury.

4. Stagnant Careers: Ironically, neglecting your needs in order to focus solely on work can backfire. As exhaustion sets in, creativity, productivity, and problem-solving abilities diminish. The very drive to excel becomes a prison, limiting growth and progress.

So, how do we lose sight of our needs in the first place? One of the biggest culprits is a desire to please people.

The Trap of People Pleasing - putting other's needs before your own.

The desire to be everything to everyone often leaves you with nothing for yourself. It puts you in the space of self-sacrifice.?Here's how it harms you:

1. Loss of Self: When you constantly mould yourself to meet others' expectations, you lose touch with who you are and what you truly want. This can lead to a crisis, leaving you wondering how you ended up on a path that doesn't fulfil you.

2. Unfulfilled Dreams: By prioritising others' desires, you may find that your own ambitions fall by the wayside. Each compromise chips away at your aspirations until you no longer recognise your dreams.

3. Burnout and Exhaustion: Living for others without replenishing yourself is a surefire way to burn out. Your energy is finite, and once it's depleted, the cost of replenishment is steep.

Taking Responsibility for Your Needs

Taking care of and meeting your needs is not selfish; it's essential! This journey to self-care is not just about you; it's about everyone you lead, love, and inspire.

Here’s how to start.

Reflect on the emotional and physical toll of unmet needs. Embrace the challenge of prioritising yourself, and take action to fill your cup so you can give from a place of abundance.

1. Identify Your Needs:?(See the link below)?Reflect on what you require to feel secure, fulfilled, and happy. Examples include sufficient sleep, exercise, nourishing food, and quality time with loved ones.
2. Communicate Your Needs: Be open with those around you about what you need. They can't support you if they don't know what you require. Be vulnerable, acknowledge when you're struggling, and seek support. Vulnerability is not a weakness; it's a pathway to strength and connection.
3. Create a Plan: Develop systems to consistently meet your needs, such as scheduling time for exercise or setting aside time for yourself. Claim your space and set boundaries that protect your time and energy. Saying "no" can be the most empowering thing you do for yourself.
4. ?Prioritise self-care and make a habit of doing what nourishes you: Whether it's exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones, carve out non-negotiable time for yourself.

I've included a helpful exercise to guide you through understanding and meeting your needs. You can access it here. Take time to reflect on what you need to feel alive and fulfilled, what brings you peace and stability, and how you can incorporate these things into your daily life.

Remember, leadership in every area of life starts from within. As a leader, taking care of your own needs is crucial to your ability to lead effectively.?

By meeting your needs, you can show up fully and authentically for those who depend on you without sacrificing YOU!

Love and Blessings