Remove Complaining From Your Mindset In 3 Simple Steps

We spend a lot of time cursing the darkness when all we need do is light a candle.

We expend a lot of energy being upset. Banging our fists against the wall wishing it were a door. Shaking our fists at the sky at the unfairness of the world, at the unfairness of our situation and lives.

It's definitely easier to complain than it is to take action. 

Overcome the obstacle or situation rather than complain, curse, and shake your fist at the heavens about the unfairness of it all. 

We must find solutions to our difficulties.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.” Eckhart Tolle

Don't complain, do

Complaining is comforting. We are excused from responsibility for our thinking or for taking action. It is very common. And if you find yourself occasionally doing this, it is more than natural.

But it serves little to no purpose.

When it becomes chronic - it destroys forward movement and action. It fosters negativity. Then it starts to be pervasive around us. We see it in those we surround ourselves.

It becomes a larger and larger part of our conversations. Taking up more of our lives.

We aren't talking about solutions. We aren't talking any more about what we do to overcome. We don't talk about our action forward. We don't talk how things have gotten better because we are doing something about it.

It becomes a black cloud that you can't see any longer because you are in the cloud.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Maya Angelou

Build new habits and remove complaining from your mindset.

• Be Aware - Watch for complaints. Notice it in your thinking. This is where it starts. Before you have a chance to give voice to your complaints. Pay attention to your thinking. Meditation can be a big help both in providing awareness, helping give energy and strength, as well as helping with mindfulness.  
• Be Less Judgmental - Be less critical of yourself and others. You cannot control anything outside of yourself. You certainly can't control every situation. And everything does not have to be your way. When we judge, we are forming an opinion and conclusion about something. We are the arbiter of justice, of what is right and correct, and are sitting in judgement. We define ourselves in our judgments. And we are showing that we are a closed vessel with nothing left to learn but merely to pass judgement over others as we are superior.

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most do.” Dale Carnegie

It takes no great skill to be critical of another. We should never be proud of our proclamations of others.

• Be Responsible - You own how you respond to life. You are responsible for yourself. The more you accept your responsibilities, understand your decision making process, and dig into your obligations to accomplish something - the less complaining has any value.

Responsibility is the antidote to complaints

Show chronic complainers to the door - You don't have time to sit around and listen to others who routinely complain. You've got bigger things to do and you don't need to be infected by complainers. Complainers are not doers. They are not action people. They don't accomplish or add to anything. They are stuck. Don't get stuck as well by being around others that will drag you down.

Come right down to it and most people don't really want to be around complaining. In showing empathy, our friends and colleagues will endure, if only for a short time and to show that they care about us. Some will listen because they are wrapped up in the complaining mindset and are waiting their turn to add to the complaint pile.

It isn't serving us well in how we think, it isn't serving us well in how we communicate, and it isn't doing anything to make things actually better.

“If you spend five minutes complaining, you have just wasted five minutes.” Anonymous

Now is the time to stop complaining and start taking action. Work on these practices daily. Build positive habits that support the life you want to lead. As you improve your habits and skills each day you find that it becomes easier to maintain these habits.

You can complain about it or do something about it.

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