Remote Work vs Parenthood

I know, right?

It's interesting how in the past few months we've been through this over and over again, reading the same lines about how this forced digital transition may change the world, save the climate and make us all slightly wealthier and, at the same time, better husbands, wives, parents.

It won't be long until large corporations do the math - whom am I kidding? It's surely done and gone over and over, ages ago. The average employee will save thousands a year if they just wander off and sit at home working instead. No more infrastructure, no more air conditioning, no more ridiculous power bills, cleaning budgets, security, maintenance, rental space, the list could go on and on and on forever.

In theory, those that have just discovered this new world of amazement where you can be paid to work in your pajamas may just be suffering from that initial excitement, believing that life will, ultimately, turn out for the best.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge fan of remote work, I've embraced it to the full and I've sold it to my friends and peers as the best thing they could consider, but I'll start by assuming it's not all stars and diamonds out there. In fact, as soon as the math comes out, your wage will drop accordingly because a) it's yet another crisis and b) your costs have supposedly gone down as well.

Things such as "employee monitoring systems" give me the creeps to start with. I've always managed to be available for clients in my area of remote work for, let's say, a good slice of 14-16 hours a day. That includes weekends, yes. And my son's nap time, often afternoon snack time, and a few other hundred hours I miss by focusing my attention on the screen and my client's needs rather than life itself. It's fair, it's part of it and you'd be lying to yourself if you believed it could be any other way.

At the end of the day, hard work and putting in the hours should pay off. You should come through tired, perhaps mentally drained, but surely did your best and feel that inch of self-pride for making it on your own without someone else breathing down your neck. These are all great principles, but once you start including parenthood and the joys of confinement along in the equation, your efforts have to span further and your ability to be resilient will be tested more often than before.

The way I see it, there was the pre-confinement and post-confinement challenges. Things now take longer, are harder to process. Shopping for groceries is, in itself and sometimes, a challenge of its own. Your kid is not attending kindergarten anymore because a) you won't let him and b) they were naughty during hard times. So you do what you can with what you got. You think of all of those parents that were suddenly forced to work for 12 hours a day - a ballpark figure - with their kid(s) shouting around, their needs not being able to be postponed, breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the table, the in-betweens, bathing, entertainment. You tried your best to be a parent somewhere along the lines and yet, productivity charts are most likely still there.

I don't blame you. It's exhausting even for those that have most of the work laid down for them by the incredible sacrifice of partners or grandparents. Our generation had to be tested for resilience and I believe in many ways, we have, and we're still being tested. Some of us are thriving, some are desperate, but we are, as with time, moving forward.

Whatever advice may come from someone that lived through this transition is pointless. Ultimately, it depends on your employer's understanding that yes, you can be extremely productive while at home for a portion of the time. Whilst children scream, your own needs in the scale and the lack of a structure in place that will take care of all those obvious things that were taken for granted before, adding a long shift and productivity goals in the middle of it - let alone the already mentioned monitoring systems - you're creating an issue that is larger than life.

Working remotely / at home can be a fulfilling activity. It can and should be so if it allows you the time to learn, develop, engage. To discover new ways to find new paths and, for many, to start a business and let go of preconceived ideas. It can fill you with a sense of pure self-achievement unlike any other or lead you to a level of stress that might bring conflict and turmoil right inside your home, the place where you could and should relax and enjoy life the most.

This transition of carrying a career, work, and placing it inside your living room and the core of your family life may come at a cost. It's up to you to find the boundaries of what works and what doesn't and hopefully, either find the support from your employer in ensuring your schedule is nothing like it used to be - for yours and their own sake - or simply, it may provide a shining light that reflects on all the reasons why you should have quit that job already.

Yet, we can't dissociate from the fact that we're living through a huge storm. It may be so that many companies will take advantage of your frailty and invade your home, expecting you to surpass all the goals you've ever got set for you. Whatever it may be, it's an opportunity. One that allows you to actually see your children grow and sit at the table with your loved ones and one that has you on the driver's seat of what may come to be one of the deepest and fastest revolutions in the concept of work as we finally transition to a digital presence in the workplace.

When in doubt, take 5 minutes off and go play ball with your kids...