Reminders During a Time of Change

For anyone that has ever moved to a new city, been in the in-between, out of a job, or just feeling lost, here are 7 reminders of change that emerged from my journey of feeling lost - and as a coach and recruiter, I felt compelled to share with you to help guide you through where you are at today. 

Dear Lost wanderer,

I have been writing this continuous letter in my head for over 4 years. For me, this letter is personally addressed to “New York City”. For when I first moved here in 2016, I was full of fear. I was in my 20s and carried around a back pack (figuratively speaking) of confusion, doubt, loss, and anxiety & depression. I didn’t want to move here, but for my husband, we packed up our cozy apt in Chicago - where the streets were deeply familiar, amiable and smelled of cheesesteak and Wrigley Field - and drove through a snow storm to one of the biggest cities in the world.

The first day waking up in NYC, all I remember was the bitter cold outside. But not because of the temperature, but the pure coldness I felt for the city. I felt empty. I was confused who I was in this giant cement jungle. Was “Chicago Britt” the same here? I didn’t know. I barley knew anyone. I questioned myself and my identity.  I spiraled into a depressive state for months. For me, I was drowning in the unknown.

All I knew was the surrounding streets in our high rise apartment - 10th and 11th, and the ever touristy 42nd street. The rest of the city felt like the ocean at night, when you can’t see beyond your own life boat. And worst of all, I was working from home - before working from home was a thing. So I was in my head 12 hours of the day, constantly ruminating on thoughts - feeling invisible. 

What started as hate, turned into like, and then slowly into a deep love for the city.

For everyday I cried and felt alone, there was another day that I promised myself to try.

Try today as a new approach. As the days went on, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, to the point that I began to change.

I did things in my life I never did before. I started a blog (had no idea what blogging was, but I did it). I introduced myself to people and teachers in fitness classes, I went to networking panels or meet ups incessantly - even when I didn’t belong. I volunteered. I had conversations with people I didn’t know, even just standing for a coffee. I asked questions - and authentic questions. And ultimately, my soul started to build resilience and hope.

After 4 years of a tumultuous journey - I can honestly say I have never loved and city so much as I do NYC. I am leaving here in 2 months and I couldn’t be prouder and more honored to say I have lived, loved and conquered this journey.

I sit here with an elevated heart. A mind full of immense and diverse perspectives. Memories of laughter, joy, tears and pain. I have worked my way up at the #1 Beauty Company in the world, created & launched two blogs, a small business, lived in 3 apartments, met some of my best friends here, and saw the resilience of this city during COVID-19.

I tell you all this because let this be your reminder that Change is layered. So here are my 7 Reminders of Change… 

1. Change doesn’t happen over night. Whether a job search, career development, promotion, personal relationships, moving to a new city, buying a new home… the list goes on, but ultimately we cannot expect a transformation overnight. 
2. Own your change. Own your journey. Because there are going to be moments you question your place in the world. And that is ok. Just don’t stop going. 
3. You are resilient - even in the moments you feel so lost …and even when your Google Maps is unsure how to navigate you- I promise you will end up where you are meant to be at the moment you are meant to be there.
4. Stay continuously curious. So curious that everyday you should be learning something that adds energy to your soul. Over time, curiosity will only create life-changing growth…not temporary and short willed. 
5. Be grateful for every bump in the road, because I guarantee you it was placed there for a specific reason. Embrace the obstacles and create your mountain.
6. There is no mathematical algorithm for change. Although we can do our best to read every self-help book (believe me I did) and try every framework, growth is idiosyncratic and unique to each and every one of us. … My transformation took 4 long years - and I wouldn’t have changed 1 minute of that time. Your transformation might be longer, it might be shorter, but ultimately it is yours. Embrace the minutes while you can.
7. Nothing is permanent. So there will be a moment when you make it "through". And crazy enough, you are still strong enough to get through another. And when you are on the "other side" - your heart will stand proud for not where you stand today, but proud because of all the steps you took and fought through along the way.

Thanks for reading!

You can find more of my Career & Purpose tips and advice on Instagram @BWell_Mindset and connect with me on LinkedIn at Britt Ramsey https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/brittramsey/.