A Reminder for Us All
Douglas Spencer (he/him)
I help purpose-driven leaders find the messages that inspire others to join them on their missions.
Here’s a lesson for everyone, whether you’re at a nonprofit, a for-profit, or on your own as a consultant or coach. Or—just someone who cares about someone else.
You can’t want it more than they do.
Recently, I was talking with another consultant, exchanging war stories so to speak, and after I lamented about a client who just wasn’t moving forward the way they should, she said it. You can’t want it more than they do.
Of course! That’s not news, per se, but it is easily forgotten. I can’t hire a personal trainer to give me a six-pack if I don’t really want it. (Clearly, I don’t.) Similarly, organizations can’t hire me to create a message for them that resonates with the outside world, if they don’t want to detach themselves from what they’re currently saying.
On the flip side, I accuse myself of failing to inspire them with the benefits of what I wanted for them. That might be a fair critique. It might also be giving myself too much credit.
We can’t “want” someone into sobriety. We can’t “want” someone into finishing their degree. We can’t “want” someone into succeeding.
No matter what it is, we can’t want it more than they do. That’s why it’s incumbent on us to know when to say when, accept what we cannot change, and hope for their best.
Thoughts?
equity-focused nonprofit strategic planning and evaluation consultant ??? Podcast Host | Mission: Impact
2 个月I remember many professors in my organization development program reminding us—don’t work harder than your client
Reseacher. Educator. Data-informed decision-maker. HERS Leadership Institute. Higher Education. Conflict Transformation.
2 个月I love this comment, Doug. ?? We can inspire, advise, influence — but we can’t do the work for the individual or entity. As an eternal optimist, it can be so hard to let go. It can feel like giving up. We have to reframe that feeling in a different way.
Former TV Journo turned Science Communicator. I help researchers with the QUT Centre for Data Science & Australian Data Science Network tell their stories.
3 个月I think we all operate under the false assumption that we 'know better' than others and if I just tell that person(s) why they need to do something (or not do something), they will immediately change. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!