Reminder: Never Dim Your Light

?? On the go? You can choose to listen to my recorded audio version, or simply continue reading below.

? Guilt has a sneaky way of holding us DOWN

How often do you allow feelings of guilt to hold you back, keep you playing small, or minimize your own happiness to make sure you "fit in" with those around you?

This was a topic I reflected on last Autumn, during a season of my life when things were thankfully rolling along with general momentum and ease. I certainly wasn't dealing with the types of challenges that have surfaced more recently, and I somehow had an abundance of energy in the midst of an incredibly packed schedule. (Which actually exhausts me to think about it now — Go figure!)

Things were good though. I was doing well… even with unknown hurdles revealing themselves day by day — I thankfully had the stamina to overcome them with ease and keep moving forward on my path.

But on the evening of October, 26…?I was on the phone with a family member during our usual catch up call, when I realized that the lives of people that I loved were seemingly crumbling around me in various ways and at varying degrees, without me even knowing.

So I listened, I empathized, and I truly FELT for how they were attempting to navigate the personal hardships this season was serving up to them. Upon the ending of the call, I made my way to the kitchen to start making dinner… and as I stared blankly at the ingredients laying in front of me on the counter, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me.

Guilt that I was Happy. Guilt that I felt Safe and Secure. Guilt that people I love were Suffering Around Me while I was ok. I'm sure you know this feel feeling also.

? Have compassion, WITHOUT drowning yourself in the process

I'm definitely a "feeler" by nature, and deeply empathetic…?which in the past, has often led to my own detriment (I'll admit). So I know that the guilt I felt that night stems from the place within me that wants to always be able to help save and support others — especially during their most challenging times.

Now?I won't go down the road of unpacking the "savior complex" right now and where that stems from… BUT you likely understand exactly what I mean by that, and probably struggle with this urge (or dare I say "need") in your own life also.

What I will say however, is that this complex is not your friend… and is actually a sure fire way to solidify feelings of guilt within your life.

A good example of this being: When you are confronted by a difficult situation in someone else's life (that you have zero control over), and yet you take on the heavy burden of it as though it were in fact your responsibility to solve. This can quickly snowball into feelings of guilt that you aren't helping them, because your attention is focused on directly "saving them", rather than ways to pour into them in an empowered and supportive way.

So while it’s incredibly important to have Empathy and Compassion for those who may be suffering around us… it’s also imperative to remember that exhibiting these traits does not mean we need to take on undue responsibility (or suffering either) in order to help them.

In fact, it’s better if we do NOT! Think about it. You cannot pour anything from an empty cup, can you? --- Cue visual in your mind --- NOPE, you definitely can't!

? Maintain YOUR own cup, and others will naturally benefit

So since you can only ever pour from a cup that is filled (or better yet, an abundant and overflowing one if possible), this is the BEST way to truly help someone in need.

When you dim your light and minimize the abundance within your own cup, out of guilt for having more than another person in that moment…?you end up decreasing your ability to help them — which is completely counter-active and unfortunate. Don't you think?

You will always be able to support those who are suffering, much better when you are stationed within an unshakable place of peace, wholeness, safety, and love within yourself.

Maintaining your own wellness, and only taking on the responsibilities that are TRULY yours (within your sphere of control) will help keep your cup full — and in turn, you'll be able to fill others' cups through overflow and excess, without draining yours in the process.

? Replace guilt with GRATITUDE

So what do you do when that "Guilt Monster" comes knocking on your door?

Well, instead of feeling guilty for the happiness and light that you're holding in a season of pain that someone else is experiencing… switch to feeling grateful for what you have, as well as what you can graciously bring to the table in support of them in that moment.

Be ever so thankful that YOU have the ability to hold the light for them, and create a safe space for them to navigate through their suffering. What a beautiful gift to be able to give someone — Right? And also empowering!

This was the reminder that I needed in that moment of guilt while standing at the kitchen counter. This key allows us to have a greater (more positive) impact in the lives of the people around us!

With the state of the world, the state of the economy, and quite frankly the state of peoples' lives within our personal spheres (bearing the weight of so much pain and suffering right now)… it can be far too easy to SPIRAL into a place of guilt when you are not currently feeling the same levels of pain also.

So while I know now, (and I hope you realize too)… that we don’t have to be in a state of suffering in order to support someone that happens to be struggling — it doesn’t necessarily mean that there won't to be moments that test us.

What matters most… is your Awareness and your Perspective. With these tools, you can kick guilt to the curb as soon as it comes knocking on your door!

? A final note for today, and EVERY day

My deepest hope is that you remember to NEVER dim your light. Instead… hold onto it firmly and shine it even brighter — illuminating the path for those around you who have lost their own lights. They are likely trying to find a way through the darkness that has settled thickly into this particular season for them.

And just like the light that my colleague held for me a few weeks ago (written about in this article)…?my ability to find a way through that darkness and re-fill my own cup, was significantly supported by that one action (as small as it may have seemed to her at the time).

Life is cyclical, and seasons always change. So remember that there will come a time when those whom you have lit the way for in moments of darkness, will be able to return the favor for you!

How beautiful life is, wouldn't you say? It's a constant ebb and flow of both giving and receiving as the seasons change (maintaining necessary balance) — affording us the opportunity to support others and BE supported ourselves, from a place of immense gratitude.

? Thank YOU for reading…

And as a final reflection point for you today: Where in your life have you witnessed (either yourself, or another person) minimizing themselves to "fit in" at the level of those around them? — Let me know in the comments!

Wishing you all the best my friend,

?? Lisa

PS. If you enjoyed the message in this article, please help me reach my goal of bringing light led leadership to the workplace and beyond, by sending it to someone in your network who you think might benefit from it too. I appreciate you!