Remembrance of Similarity
As we know, there is only one race of humans left on our planet today: Homo sapiens. We all have the same roots going back to the first modern humans who emerged in Africa 200,000–300,000 years ago. For a long time, Homo sapiens existed alongside other human races, at least nine others. Although we are the only race that has survived, our journey was not easy.
70,000 years ago, our ancestors faced great difficulties, including a major volcanic eruption followed by a long Ice Age. Scientists believe there were only 5,000–10,000 individuals left on the entire planet. Human history came very close to an ending.[i]
We survived, but there were not many of us. This means that the DNA of you and me and every other human being alive today is strikingly similar, in fact 99.99 per cent similar.[ii] So despite all our perceived differences, from a genetic perspective we have very, very much in common with just about everyone else we share this planet with.
It is so important to remind ourselves of this similarity and really let it sink in. Especially since our brain tends to magnify differences. This remembrance of similarity is perhaps the most important gateway to the level of empathy, understanding and unity we need reach to solve our global challenges and secure the long-term survival of Homo sapiens.
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Individualism at the end of the road
In much of the Western world, we have taken individualism far, perhaps even to the end of the road. It’s easy to get stuck in a self-centred mode where community and togetherness outside the family are no longer prioritised, or at least need to be planned well in advance, despite research suggesting that community and connectedness makes us feel better and makes our lives more meaningful.
We can feel a sense of community and connection with our colleagues or with our friends, but we can also feel this feeling when we are members of a choir, a book club, a sports team or doing community work with our neighbours.
Think about when you experience real connectedness beyond your own family. How do you feel deep down at these times? What happens to your feelings about yourself and the world around you?
Cultivating connection
The way to achieve the positive effects of connection is, of course, to actively cultivate contact with other people. It is also about dropping our fa?ades, showing ourselves as we really are and daring to be vulnerable, i.e. human. Nothing deepens interpersonal relationships as quickly as vulnerability. Vulnerability touches, vulnerability makes others feel safe with us and vulnerability opens up and deepens. It can be about telling someone we’re not feeling so great instead of just saying that everything is fine, asking for help, sharing something personal that is dear to our hearts, admitting we were wrong, or maybe acknowledging that we doubt our ability in a certain situation.?
Another way is to look for similarities. And not just to the people around you. You can seek similarity with anyone, at any time, because there is always similarity. Everyone wants to be happy on some level. Everyone has gone through hard times in life, everyone is affected by their upbringing, and everyone has human needs they are working to meet. All people have the potential to dream. All people also have, somewhere within them, the ability to love. Although some may have had to build up so much psychological protection that they have lost touch with that connection.
If you want, you can look for similarities with the colleague you don’t really understand, the person sitting next to you on the train or the victims of war you see on TV. Because there are always similarities, even if your brain doesn’t notice them at first. When you do this, it activates a softer side of you. You switch on the ability to empathise. And even though it can sometimes be challenging to see the human similarity with someone who is struggling, it expands you emotionally. And when you also move towards your own heart and wish that person well, you cultivate compassion within you.
Feelings of connection are important to nurture daily in a world where it is so easy to distance ourselves and where the pitfall of separation will only grow as we enter the metaverses of the virtual world. The more people around us, at work, in our society and in our world who activate warm feelings, the more harmony and flow we will experience in the systems we are part of. Because emotions are contagious. Emotional energy spreads and has impact.
This means that when you cultivate openness, compassion, goodwill, and a sense of belonging to a much larger family, you are guaranteed to influence others. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. The people affected can in turn affect an even larger circle of people. In this way, through your being and acting, you are enriched with rewarding feelings on the inside while also contributing to ‘psychological safety’ and positive co-creation around you.
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Authentic Reflection?
More resources to explore
The Book
This article is based on an excerpt from my new book “The Authentic Shift – Inner Development for a Changing World”. If you want to learn more about the book or read the introduction, you will find more information here: https://www.carllindeborg.com/en/bocker
The Programs
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The Articles
Thanks for reading this monthly newsletter. If you also would like a dose of weekly inspiration, you can follow my writing on Medium where I share something new every Monday. Here you also find an archive with all my previous writing: https://medium.com/@carllindeborg.
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