Remembering Brooke Ellison

I’m saddened by the loss of my dear friend, Brooke Ellison, who passed away at 45 years young on Sunday February 4th, 2024.

Brooke was one of my heroes.? She did everything she could to make the world a better place.? She was one of the strongest people I have ever met.? Her ability to rise above the physical limitations and challenges she faced every day was truly legendary.??

Brooke Ellison was literally the most accomplished person with quadriplegia in the history of the planet. She got 2 degrees from Harvard (summa in Neurobiology, by the way), a PhD, wrote two books, taught college, spoke to people all over the world, Christopher Reeve made a movie about her life (more on that later), and most importantly inspired people everywhere she went.? She touched our classmates, her own students, people with disabilities, children, and so many others. I’m privileged to count myself and my children as people that Brooke inspired.??

But more than that, Brooke was one of the most down to earth people you could know–a true and loyal friend.? She was funny and had a great sense of humor. We would joke and tease each other, which are some of my fondest memories of her.? I’d like to share my experience with the Brooke Ellison that I knew.

Brooke and I met freshman year in Expository writing class in the fall of 1996.? Brooke quickly became my homie. We would eat meals together, argue about politics and society, talk about boxing, and watch sports. While we almost never agreed politically, I remind the reader that you can disagree with people vociferously and still love them fiercely.?

I was also blessed to get to know her parents. Brooke could not have accomplished all those things without her entire family, and she was always first to point that out.? They made an incredible sacrifice so that she could pursue her dreams.? Her mother, Jean, lived with her in college. Her father, Ed, raised her brother and sister while working and holding down the home.? Being a married father, only now can I see how difficult those sacrifices were.??

Jean is very bright (she got a Harvard education too through her experience), but she was always so incredibly kind, patient, and friendly.? She could talk to you about anything. I’ve only appreciated this recently, but having a “mother” figure around was great for me and others, in what was a fairly harsh environment.? Jean stands as an incredible example of sacrificing for a child’s dreams and reminds me a lot of my own mom in that respect.

Ed is one of the best fathers I’ve ever met.? Ed is a big strong guy, but a teddy bear of a man. Ed always has a bright smile, a big handshake, and a warm hug for you when you see him.? You can talk to Ed about anything–life, sports, or relationships.? Ed stood by his family and had to navigate a lot of difficult situations. Having raised two precious girls myself, I can’t imagine what he went through during Brooke’s accident and recovery.? As a dad, you would much rather suffer in place of your daughter.? His walk was not easy. But Ed worked successfully, held his family together, raised the other children … and always did it with a smile.? All I ever saw from Ed was joy, strength, love, and grace.???

I’ll share something personal that has always stuck with me.? Ed and Jean lived 4 hours apart when Brooke was in college, which could not have been easy on anyone’s marriage.? They had met, married, and had kids at a young age.? They had no idea what life would throw at them with Brooke’s accident. But the strength of their marriage was something that kept a strong foundation for their family. I remember one night sophomore year, Ed was visiting for the weekend, and his arrival was imminent.? Jean was excitedly waiting for him, checking the phone, looking out the window, walking around their room in nervous excitement, and talking about him. Brooke thought it was funny and teased her mom.? It reminded me of a girl in high school whose biggest crush was about to pick her up for a first date.? I had not seen a couple that was that kind of “in love” with each other.? I thought to myself, “Wow, when I get married, I want a marriage like that.”??

After we graduated, we stayed in touch and would talk by phone from time to time, with an occasional visit. That went on for over 20 years.

One of the best decisions I’ve made as a parent is that I took both of my daughters on trips to meet with Brooke. She was such an example of strength, determination, and virtue, that I wanted my daughters to have a chance to spend some time with her. Brooke took the time to talk to them about life, doing what is right, overcoming obstacles, and persistence.? While it's our duty to set our best example for our children, it's also important to bring other adults who can speak into their lives.? I brought my oldest in 2016 when she was 9, and she has cherished that time ever since.? Brooke would always ask about her and they’d talk on the phone occasionally.? When my 2nd daughter was 12, I took her to meet Brooke in March of 2023. It was also a very special moment that inspired her deeply.

Honestly, I was concerned that when I saw Brooke last March, that might be the last time I would ever see her this side of Heaven.? She had battled with serious health issues related to her condition for the past 5 or so years. Brooke was fairly private about these things and never wanted to burden anyone with her problems. I spoke to Brooke around 2020, after a long period of not hearing back from her.? Only then did I realize she had been silent because she almost lost her life in the 12 months prior.?

When I called my mom this Monday to tell her Brooke had passed, Mom asked what had happened. My reply was that the miracle was that she lived as long as she did.? Brooke got hit by a car when she was 11, and doctors didn’t think she’d live to 18.? By her persistence, her family’s love, some great doctors, and most importantly God’s Grace, she beat that number by 5X.? But Brooke Ellison always exceeded expectations; that’s just who she was.

My last exchange with her was just last Tuesday. There is a new documentary about Christopher Reeve that is coming out soon.? The last thing Reeve did, before he passed away, was make a movie called “The Brooke Ellison Story”.? The movie’s got great actors that you’ll recognize and tells a great story in a heartfelt way. Reeve was so good to my friend. His heroism echoed in real life to me as a man, just as his fictional persona had deeply impacted me as a boy.? He truly was Superman.

On Tuesday Jan 30, I texted Brooke a “Hey don’t know if you saw, but…” message. Her reply, which was always done with humility, was “ … I haven’t seen the final product yet but, allegedly, I’m in it.” I teased her with a “... why am I only finding out now?”? And that was it … the last time we connected.? It’s God’s poetry that the last thing Christopher Reeve did before he passed was tell Brooke’s story … and the documentary that told Christopher Reeve’s story premiered at Sundance just as Brooke passed.

I have a lot of peace in God’s Grace that Brooke is in His hands.? In our conversations about God in the past couple years, I saw that Brooke’s heart towards God had become much more open.? I knew the more she knew Jesus, the more she’d love Him, because she stood for so much of what He stands for.? When I lost another classmate 14 years ago, my brother, Roanak Desai, what fell on my heart, is what I will say again now, before I go to another funeral for a classmate, to implore you as the reader to Get Right With God.

I miss my homie–and this week has been tough. But, I am privileged to have my life impacted by Brooke Ellison … to have seen such legendary examples in her, Jean, and Ed, all in their own superpowers. Those three people are Superheroes, whose unique gifts have deeply impacted so many around the world, including me and my children.? May God’s Hand and Blessing be on Brooke and the entire Ellison family.