Remember Who You Are…Talking To Or About

If you watched The Lion King you may recall the scene where Mufasa tells Simba, “Remember who you are.” Today we need to be reminded, “Remember who you are…talking to or about.”

American gymnast Simone Biles, one of the best-known athletes on the planet, made the decision to withdraw from the Olympics, the biggest stage in the world, on the day of her competition. You’d have to be living on a secluded island to have missed this story. With her competing the United States women’s gymnastics team was almost a shoo-in for the gold. She was expected to contend for, and likely win, five gold medals, which would have made her the most decorated Olympic female athlete ever.

When I first heard the story my gut reaction was, “What?!?” That instant reaction came from growing up in a time when the mantra in sports was, “No pain, no gain!” or “Suck it up!” and “How bad do you want it?” We were told stories about athletes who played with broken bones and concussions because “they wanted it more than the other guy.” And now we know how wrong those actions were. Just look at the number of NFL players who can barely walk later in life and how many have taken their lives because of concussion related incidents.

The negative reaction of some people to Simone’s decision to withdraw reminded me of General George Patton slapping the soldier in the hospital and accusing him of cowardice. We now know that particular soldier and countless others were not cowards. They suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).?

Given what I’ve read about the twisties, a type of vertigo that people who do aerial acrobatics can experience, I don’t blame Biles at all. The amazing feats of athleticism she performs are incredibly dangerous. One wrong landing because of disorientation could lead to paralysis or even death.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but what bothers me, and hopefully bothers you as well, is how people express their opinion about her as a person. I’m not going to dignify any of the people by mentioning their names or detailing what they said.

Here’s what I use to keep me in check and do my best to respect people, even those I disagree with. I remind myself that whoever I’m interacting with is someone’s…

Mother or Father

Brother or Sister

Son or Daughter

That covers most relationships. How would I want someone to treat my mother in this situation? How would I want someone to treat my sister? How would I want my daughter treated? In every case I want them to be treated with respect because I love them. Never forget, the person you’re interacting with has infinite value to many people in their lives and should be treated as such.

I don’t want someone I love labeled a disgrace, quitter, horrible person, or anything like that by someone who doesn’t know them in the least. I’m pretty sure most of those making the disrespectful comments would not hold the same view if their son or daughter made a similar decision.

This goes back to reciprocity – we get what we give. If we want respect for ourselves and our loved ones, let’s give respect and hope others follow suit. When we don’t get it, politely call it out. For example, my mother used to work customer service and roadside assistance for AAA. On occasion people would get nasty with her. I always told her, when someone says something disrespectful, let them know you don’t appreciate it. If they do it again, give them one warning, “I asked you to please not use that language with me. Next time I will have no choice but to end the call.” Most people stop when confronted with a confident response like that. If they persist, politely end the call then immediately let your supervisor know what happened. When we let people get away with rude behavior it only reinforces the behavior.?

Setting aside my initial gut reaction noted earlier, recognizing it comes from lots of prior conditioning, I respect and applaud Simone Biles for trusting her instinct to not risk injury, even if it cost her and the team. I’ve no doubt many athletes look back on their careers and wish they’d made similar decisions now that they know what they know.?

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute . An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE , was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer , is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 725,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!