Remedy for Rage: Tame Your Angry Brain
Daniel Goleman
Director of Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence Online Courses and Senior Consultant at Goleman Consulting Group
Brainpower: Mindsight and Emotional Intelligence in Leadership, provides leaders, executive coaches, management consultants, and HR professionals with a science basis for their leadership development work. Register for the live four-part webcast series with Daniel Goleman and Daniel Siegel throughout February here.
Fred did it again. He blew up, yelling at a salesperson in front of a customer in the store he manages. Denise, leader of the retail chain’s HR department, is brought in to “fix” Fred’s rage problem.
Sharon, a talented engineer, runs a small environmental services firm. Sharon told her coach Janet, “My staff resists my leadership. Just because I got upset at their low productivity, now they act like they’re afraid of me.”
For the third time, Paul was passed over for promotion to the next level of management. Luckily, he got the news at the end of the day, so he could get out of the office before exploding. Later that night, when he’d cooled down, Paul thought, “Okay, maybe there’s something to what the CEO said about me being too much of a hothead to handle more responsibility. But, what can I do? That’s just how I am.”
Three Situations, One Issue
Fred, Sharon, and Paul work in different situations, but they’re all dealing with the same issue: anger that’s out of control. Like Paul, many of us think some people just get angry a lot. It’s the way they are and they can’t change.
Paul is wrong. Uncontrolled bursts of rage don’t come from nowhere. They’re the result of a chain of events that go on in our brains. Understanding a bit of brain science can help us understand rage, where it comes from, and how to prevent it from boiling over.
The Brain on Anger
My book, The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights, explains two sections of the brain: one related to anger and other emotions, and the part that helps us control our feelings. The emotional centers are in the middle of our brains, especially in an area called the amygdala. In The Brain and EI, I said,
“The amygdala is a trigger point for emotional distress, anger, impulse, fear, and so on. When this circuitry takes over, it acts as the ‘bad boss,’ leading us to take actions we might regret later…. The key neural area for self-regulation is the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s ‘good boss,’ guiding us when we are at our best. The dorsolateral zone of the prefrontal area is the seat of cognitive control, regulating attention, decision-making, voluntary action, reasoning, and flexibility in response.”
In the face of a threat – either physical or emotional, such as being insulted or treated unfairly – the amygdala reacts in two ways. One reaction is a release of a brain chemical called catecholamines. They generate a quick rush of energy that lasts for minutes. During that time, the emotional brain decides whether it’s time for a good fight or a quick flight.
Meanwhile, the amygdala also sends a message to the adrenocortical branch of the nervous system. That pulse initiates a general background of action readiness that can last for hours and even days. The underlying “on-guard” feeling makes it possible for quick reactions to any new or ongoing threat.
That action-ready condition explains why people are more prone to anger if they have already been provoked by something else. Stress of any kind creates adrenocortical arousal. Thus, someone who had a stressful morning can easily become enraged later that day about something that otherwise wouldn’t be powerful enough to trigger an angry outburst.
Balancing on the Edge of Anger
University of Alabama psychologist Dolf Zillmann did foundational research on the anatomy of rage. Zillmann learned that when something triggers an emotional hijacking for someone on edge from adrenocortical arousal, their subsequent feeling is stronger than it would be without such readiness. With escalating anger, each new anger-provoking thought triggers more amygdala-driven surges of catecholamines. Each wave builds on the previous one, quickly increasing the body’s level of psychological arousal. The further into this buildup a thought occurs, the greater intensity of anger it arouses. As anger builds, unhampered by reason, rage easily erupts in violence.
At a high level of excitation, Zillmann found that people feel powerful and invulnerable. Without something from the “good boss” part of the brain to interrupt the rage, people fall back on the most primitive of responses.
How to Prevent Rage
What about Fred, Sharon, and Paul? What can help prevent their rage? If Fred, Sharon, and Paul are under a lot of stress, their bodies are bathed in those “ready for action” adrenocortical chemicals. Reducing their stress levels will shift them away from their battle-ready positions.
We don’t always have a choice about the stress-inducing situation that are a part of many work environments. We do have a choice in how we respond to stress. In my articles, “Can You Pass This Stress Test?” and “A Relaxed Mind is a Productive Mind,” I suggest tools for emotional self-management and reducing stress that can help prevent outbreaks of rage.
Cooling Rage Once It Happens
What can you do when you or someone around you is in the grip of rage? Zillmann sees two main ways of defusing anger. The first is to challenge thoughts triggering the surges of anger. The original thought fueled the initial burst of anger, continuing with similar thoughts fans the flames.
Introducing a different interpretation of the situation early in the cycle can stop the triggers and short-circuit the anger. There is a specific window of opportunity for this de-escalation. You can derail anger if the mitigating information comes before the anger is acted on. Zillmann finds it only works well at moderate levels of anger. At high levels of rage, people literally can’t think straight and will dismiss the mitigating information.
Here’s the second way of de-escalating anger. Cool off physiologically by waiting out the adrenal surge in a setting where there are not likely to be further triggers for rage. In an argument, get away from the other person. During the cooling-off period, put the brakes on the cycle of escalating hostile thoughts by seeking out distractions. Distraction is a highly powerful mood-altering device.
How to cool off? One fairly effective strategy is some alone time. A long walk or other active exercise helps with anger. So do relaxation methods such as deep breathing and muscle relaxation. They change the body’s physiology from the high arousal of anger to a low-arousal state. Also, they provide distraction.
[Listen to my deep breathing guided exercise.]
An Ounce of Prevention…
Understanding the brain science behind anger, it’s easy to see the value of developing techniques for preventing the build up of “action-ready” brain chemicals. Having the skills to manage difficult emotional situations goes a long way toward preventing career-damaging outbursts of rage.
Additional Resources
Science Says: Listen to Your Gut
Leaders: Learn the Art and Science of Rapport
How to Coach a Smart but Clueless Leader
Mindfulness Coach at mindfulnessbyfaithe.com
8 年Goleman's insights provide powerful life tools
?? Published Award-winning Author, Speaker | Certified Mindset Coach | Passion: Cultivating Mindful Confidence & Success in Clients in Transition
8 年Thanks for this! I am currently doing a series of trainings with a state environmental protection agency with staff who have to deal with landowners in violation of environmental laws. These are hostile and stressed interactions. We discovered many of the principles you list here, including the diversion of talking a walk on the property, at some point in the conversation, as a way of cooling off the interaction.
International Presenter, Coach, Counsellor. Director at Quantum Vision.
8 年Great insight in understang the source of rage. Thanks.