Remaining Fierce in the Face of Fear

Change is the only constant in life - Heraclitus (Greek Philosopher)

It's been a little over 9 months since my last article "I Didn't Get The Job" in which I detailed a time in my life when I didn't really know myself and was paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice in my career. There has been a lot of heartwarming feedback on that little piece and so now I felt the time was right to birth a new little baby.

I've asked several people at earlier stages in their career what they would want to know. What are they afraid to ask or do they simply not have a mentor in their life they feel they can ask? Well, it should come as no surprise that many young adults want to make a change for the better but are afraid to. The thought of entering a new environment, especially a competitive one, seems daunting. Considering they are in a situation they aren't necessarily unhappy with, why not stay put? It's a bit of a twist on the previous article's concept. They know what they want but are afraid to go after it because of what, oh God, if it doesn't work out?

This is not something I struggle with. I am the opposite of risk-averse, I love change and I am a thrill-seeker in the life adventure sense but certainly not the skydiving sense. For me, change has always been something I saw as a necessary element in the evolution of self. However, there are many times where the change has not worked out and while at the time it was sometimes devasting, in the end, it helped form me as a person. I think Jeff Heilman, the first salesperson ever hired by Elon Musk, said it best in the comments to my last article.

I read ALL the books in my late teens and early twenties, went to all the seminars, listened to all the CDs and podcasts and YouTube video(s) I could about “how to be successful”. But it took application and set backs and working through difficulties before I really knew who I was and what I wanted. Mainly by discovering through lots of trial and error what I didn’t want. ??

So much like the last article, we've identified the fear that paralyzes us in our attempt to move forward, now what? I am a bullets person. I don't need you to explain something to me in a long soliloquy, just give me the facts. In a sense, it's giving form to phrase so that you can compartmentalize, process and then execute. Basically bullets give you a game plan so that is what I will attempt to do here. It's the way I approach any complicated problem and a major life change would classify as that.

The Plan: How to best ensure success when attempting something new.

In any new situation, I think you need 3 key elements to succeed: humility, curiosity, and balance. Let's break it down.

• Humility. There are people reading this right now that probably chuckled when they read that coming from me as it's been coaching for me for many years. I think I was born confident. I always believed I could do anything I wanted and my real struggle has been finding the true passion of my life. Luckily, I know now it's luxury fashion but it took a minute to get here. There have been many times in my life where I approached a new challenge with gusto thinking I could will the team to victory. While that has worked, it's only short-lived, and that's where the humility comes in. If you think you have all the answers you will end up on a team of one and even the most powerful CEOs in the world can't do it alone. You have to respect the process as is and find out from the team what is working and what isn't. It's through multiple sources you find themes and themes develop into the culture. As leaders, we are culture creators and the weight of that responsibility is what should humble us. To keep it all in perspective though I have to share this hilarious quote from respected tech writer Kara Swisher on humility.

A lot of people have said to me, "You should be more humble." And I'm like, "Why?" Bragging is different than saying what it is. When I suck at something, I say I suck at it. But I know what I'm good at.

• Curiosity. Each of these points feeds into each other. It is curiosity that leads you to ask all the questions of the team you need to truly understand something. Curiosity is in many ways another form of passion which I could have used here as well. It's what thrusts your brain into overdrive, it's what wakes you up in the middle of the night, it's what gets you into the office early and back home late. Don't accept any role, promotion or project unless you are insanely passionate and curious about it. You want to know every inch of it not so that you become a product expert per se, that's what your team is for, but so that you are a generalist who has a working knowledge of each moving part allowing you to zoom out and see the big picture.
• Balance. So that whole getting to work early and leaving the office late piece? It works as long as it's not all the time. Burnout is a real thing and as someone who has had a front-row seat to the business model of the future in some companies, it's going to be more real by the day, see a great NY Times article about it below. I LOVE my job and I find myself using a lot of my time outside of work to learn more about upcoming designers, new trends and what people are loving. I spend time analyzing a particular direct report's coaching and how I can improve it or approach it differently. I read articles about business and books about leadership. There is an element of thinking about it round the clock but much like working out - where your body needs time to rest and regenerate, or like preparing this article where I had to just marinate on some of my thoughts, you need to balance it with rest/relaxation. Rome wasn't built in a day. Look at the recent US Open Women's champion Bianca Andreescu who at 19 years old quoted meditation as a key element to her being able to successfully beat one of the greatest players ever, Serena Williams, in her first appearance in the finals. It's something we are going to see more and more of in this oversaturated, media-obsessed, hyper-speed reality we all now live in. People who succeed will be able to say they did so because they were able to remain calm and centered.

Where are we now? What started as a simple article about being brave enough to try something new has turned into my 2 cents, maybe more, on how to be successful in your career and therefore in life. I obviously don't have all the answers and my career is in its 2nd Act with plenty more adventure ahead. In the end, what I am saying is I am not afraid to try and answer the questions that plague us all. I know that with a little humility, a lot of curiosity and a pinch of balance anything is possible. Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts in the comments.