Relocation Reflection

Yesterday marked 6 months since relocating to the UK and it has been one interesting journey which I am glad I decided to embark on. In celebration of my little milestone, I am sharing my experience whilst it's still fresh and before I start discounting all the little victories that have helped me get to where I am today. I often get the question - How is it there? I think the answer changes the longer you stay. If I had been asked the same question in my first month, I would have had a lot of negative experiences to share but a lot has changed now.

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Moving into a new environment is hard and challenging however in the long run, it can be a very rewarding experience. It will take an extra bit of effort and courage as you start to assimilate a lot of new information which can be overwhelming. My expectation was to simply plug and play into my new environment, after all I had done my research, but that was far from the truth. I suddenly had to google everything and had so many embarrassing moments. My confidence took a hit big time. The best thing however is that I was able to learn from all the embarrassing mistakes and turn them into stories and laughing moments. To share two of those embarrassing moments:

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Day 2 after my arrival, I sat in an apartment which was freezing cold thinking that this was the normal temperature, after all the UK is known for being cold ( Ndiko kuchando kwacho - I thought). The thermostat was fully cranked up to a hot 30 °C. After the cold had become unbearable and with some investigation I realized the boiler was not working and called in maintenance. They were surprised that I hadn't called them sooner. The second embarrassing moment was when I had gone for a work trip to Edinburgh and had rehearsed the trip so much that when I was supposed to return back to Glasgow, I was still thinking that I was taking a trip to Edinburgh and got on the wrong platform. I was confused when I spotted my workmates on another platform only to realize in that moment that I was lost and at at the same time found. I wonder to this day if they saw me (hides face).

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I have gotten onto the wrong bus, avoided shops with self-checkout, been lost a few times, probably said and did the wrong things. I have had some ridiculous fears that kept me stuck in the house and limited my progress. One thing I used to do was to beat myself up for it but after a while I have learnt that mistakes will happen but they have some of the best lessons. I have now learnt to celebrate every new piece of information, new skill acquired, new place visited, new hobby or interest. I realized I only just needed to give myself a bit of time to grow, learn, adapt and settle. The points below summarize just a few of the key lessons I have learnt so far and I hope they can be of help especially to someone who has just moved into a new environment (job, city, country) and may be finding it difficult to get settled.

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1. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace and time to grow into the new environment. It may not always be easy. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Take it one day and one step at a time.
2. Leave room to make and learn from mistakes. The knowledge gap will drive you to discover more information and who knows, you may end up knowing way more than the locals. Researching and gaining knowledge will be your super power.
3. Ask for help - Sometimes it's faster to just ask. The answer maybe one question away. In hindsight, I probably should have asked for more help from the few people I knew who were already settled here. At the same time, the help I received from friends and family was very valuable.
4. Find a community (or communities) to join - Online or virtual, they are great sources of networking, learning and sharing. You will most likely get solutions to specific problems from community members who have embarked on a journey similar to yours however it does take some level of vulnerability. Wisdom will be required as well to sift through some advice which may be well meaning but irrelevant to your circumstances.
5. Stop surviving and start living - These were the words that one of my colleagues shared with me. Up until that point I was in constant fight or flight mode and those words set me free. Living looks like doing a new thing, showing up when you are invited somewhere, taking yourself out, doing something outside your normal routine and doing that thing that you know you are supposed to do but keep putting off. All these actions reduce fear and anxiety and reward you with courage and confidence.
6. The right attitude and a growth mindset will go a long way - There is rebirth that comes from being outside your comfort zone. Your future self will thank you for it. Be proud of yourself. It takes so much courage to move away from home with all the support and to start afresh. It's a blessing in itself. Constantly remind yourself of your achievements and capabilities,?accomplishments and goals. These constant reminders and knowing why you relocated or got the new job will give you hope and tenacity especially on days when it's all too overwhelming and when you start considering a one way ticket back to your comfort zone.
7. Take the 6 points above and apply them to your career as well.?

I deliberately did not talk about the work side of things and I will dedicate another article to that topic because It's hard to be present at work if the factors that affect how you settle are not addressed. My experiences above were inclined to addressing those factors as a foundation to the next article.

There are so many more tips and lessons - sharing is caring. If you feel you have something to add that may be helpful, you can also post your comment.

To the struggling individual, hope this shifts your perspective and empowers you to continue to push forward.?