Releasing "FOMO" to Navigate Social Media and Appreciate the Now

Ever felt that pang of disappointment after scrolling through Instagram, LinkedIn, or Facebook, trying to catch up with colleagues and friends? I know I have. It's like this constant itch to connect with others and see what everyone's up to. But recently, more often than not, I end up feeling worse than I did when I started. Here's why that could be:

First, many of us now experience "FOMO", or fear of missing out, when scrolling social media.

• But there's a story behind this. First and foremost, social media platforms have done an amazing job using the internet to connect our world like never before in history (9). However, over the past couple of decades, social media has gone through some big shifts.
• It used to be all about getting users on the platform and connecting them with others, but lately, it seems like the big focus is making money through advertising. In fact, in 2022, worldwide social media advertising revenue reached a whopping $226 billion (1).
• During the COVID-19 pandemic, more and more people turned to social media, with platforms like TikTok and Instagram gaining a lot of attention due to their popular short-form video content (1). This surge in social media usage also meant that brands increased their advertising efforts. More user attention = More effective advertising = Higher revenue

• Now, as social media users existing in this post-pandemic world, this can be a bit tricky. We often find ourselves scrolling through a bunch of ads, influencers, and sponsored content before we get to see posts from our friends and colleagues.
• And when we do see their posts, it can sometimes make their lives seem more perfect and successful than they really are.
• This can give you that "FOMO" feeling, making you think you're the only one not getting a promotion or heading off to some exotic vacation this summer. But here's a couple little reminders: (1) social media is not reality, (2) "If you’re not paying for the product, the product is you".

Second, I've noticed fewer genuine conversations and connections happening through social media these days.

• Now, considering that the primary revenue driver of social media platforms is advertising, it makes sense why there's less active interaction and fewer connections happening overall. Social media seems to be moving away from its social roots (4).
• Given these changes in how we use social media, many people are turning to private messages, community-oriented platforms, or going back to the basics with group chats (7).
• Personally, I find myself in various group chats serving different purposes, from work colleagues to book clubs, group trips, and even pickleball enthusiasts. Over time, these conversations tend to evolve into more relaxed and friendly chats that can often feel easier than sharing widely on social media (10).

So, what does all of this mean for you and your social media presence? How can you strike a balance between the desire to "keep up" and the fear of missing out (FOMO)?

(1) Start with a Social Media Attention Audit:

• In simple terms, an Attention Audit involves revisiting your priorities, tracking how you spend your time, and looking for patterns.
• When it comes to social media, here are some questions to consider during your audit: Are you genuinely enjoying your time on social media (check out your screen time stats)? Which apps would you like to spend more vs less time on? Have you tried time blocking specific times for scrolling and then redirecting your focus elsewhere?
• For example through this audit, I discovered that I enjoy TikTok more than any other platform. So, when I want to casually browse through TikTok, I make a point to set aside a specific time during the day for it. Additionally, I tweak my phone settings to remind me to take a break after some time.
• Now, when it comes to platforms like Instagram or LinkedIn, I use them in a slightly different way. Instead of passive scrolling, I primarily use these platforms to share updates and exchange messages. I find this approach more fulfilling, as it allows me to use my social media time to connect with friends and acquaintances through more meaningful interactions.
• Overall, this audit practice will help you connect better with the present moment and reduce the habit of mindlessly scrolling and succumbing to FOMO. As Alexis Ohanian, the co-founder of Reddit, wisely said, "It takes discipline not to let social media steal your time." (6)

(2) Be the first to reach out digitally:

• If you stumble upon something intriguing online or think of someone, go ahead and share it before you skip to the next one. You don't need to make a big social media post or update, but within the communities you're a part of, invite them into your digital world.
• For example, my friends and I enjoy sharing amusing videos or interesting articles in our group chats. It's become especially important because social media algorithms and targeted ads have become super personalized (9). So, just because I found something funny or noteworthy doesn't mean anyone else even saw it. It's a reminder that our online experiences can be quite unique!
• Now, these digital interactions aren't meant to replace face-to-face connections, but these small gestures can brighten someone's day and strengthen your offline relationships in the long run.

(3) Prioritize in-person connections:

• This one might sound straightforward, but let's be honest—sometimes, it's tempting to choose a night in with Netflix over going out with friends. Balancing work, daily responsibilities, and keeping up with digital stuff can make it feel like you perpetually have limited time and energy. However, skipping too many real-world get-togethers can put a strain on your relationships.
• Especially as I've grown older and life has become busier, I've tried to be more mindful and slow down. I ask myself: How can I make an effort to stay close to the people who truly matter to me?
• Suggesting a leisurely walk, inviting friends over for a casual hangout, planning a fun outing or trip—none of it needs to be complicated because, in the end, we all just want to connect with others. As the saying goes, "80% of success is showing up" (8). When you're truly savoring the present moment, social media often takes a back seat, and you can enjoy it in a healthier way.

To wrap things up, let's remember that social media is a useful tool that can help us connect, discover new interests, and share our experiences. By being mindful of how we use our time, reaching out proactively, and nurturing real-life connections, we can find a healthy balance between our digital and real-world lives.

And when it comes to that FOMO, it's worth noting that sometimes, taking a break, a breath, and being still can be quite refreshing. After all, you won't really miss out if you choose to be present.

This newsletter edition is just scratching the surface on social media and mindfulness.

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If you read this newsletter, feel free to comment with your thoughts, share with others, or reach out directly anytime! - Christine Kuhns (https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/christinekuhns/)

Sources:

(1) https://www.statista.com/outlook/dmo/digital-advertising/social-media-advertising/worldwide

(2) https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/04/11/technology-loneliness-role/

(3) https://www.investopedia.com/stock-analysis/032114/how-facebook-twitter-social-media-make-money-you-twtr-lnkd-fb-goog.aspx

(4) https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/19/technology/personaltech/tiktok-twitter-facebook-social.html

(5) https://meddlers.com/resources/conduct-attention-audit-and-take-back-your-time

(6) https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/alexis_ohanian_532050

(7) https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/13/opinion/group-chats-social-media.html

(8) https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/5035-eighty-percent-of-success-is-showing-up

(9) https://theconsciousvibe.com/how-do-social-media-companies-make-money/

(10) https://www.businessinsider.com/social-media-dead-instagram-tiktok-bereal-replaced-group-chats-messaging-2023-8