Releasing the Feelings

“His jargon conceals, from him, but not from us,

the deep, empty hole in his mind.

He uses technological language

as a substitute for technique.”

— Richard Mitchell,

“Less Than Words Can Say”

Words and experiences aren’t in your lexicon until you run across them.

Many words are invented to capture new experiences or trends.

In the business world, we call these words jargon. I need to be careful not to use too much jargon uniquely associated with my field, or I might not communicate clearly.

There are times when a word or phrase finally catches up with what I am learning and trying to introduce into organization-life or personal coaching.

In the 1980s, it was empowerment. In the 1990s, paradigm. Do you remember these words and how they popped up, and then how overused they became?

I was so grateful when the word and concept of sustainability started to gain understanding and attention. It took at least ten years to become rooted in our daily lives.

In the past ten years, the word ‘culture’ has become commonplace in the discussions of what makes for healthy organizations, working environments, and working relationships.

Each time a new word enters our language and becomes more common, so does our understanding of the experience. We take something, which is less visible, and shine a light on what it means, and how to be, or how to do it.

???? What are some of the concepts that have shown up in your work or daily life in the past few?years?

I tend to notice when something starts to show up repeatedly in my life.

The word and experience that I have been bumping into recently and frequently is Grief.

I don’t think I really experienced grief and grieving until mid-life. As I age, those around me age and decline; and I have walked the path of illness and dying many times.

I did not attend many funerals as a child, teen, or young person. My family did not talk about death, dying, or grief at all. I had little context and few role models. I am very grateful not to fear the grief that comes with loving and caring deeply. As an adult, I have found role models for learning how to walk the path of grief and support others who have experienced loss.

I find the topic of grief being raised publicly (Anderson Cooper of CNN) and mentioned almost daily in some information coming through the internet. I am grateful that it is something we can talk about and acknowledge. I have come to know it as an operating system that runs in my mind and body, and interrupts me when it wants to.

We live in an era in which the benefits of self-awareness and understanding the myriad of feelings that we have in human experience are being taught. If you can embrace and understand the feelings, pleasurable and painful, you can understand the source. Our ability to traverse all the emotions that come with life without being wounded — or unable to move forward and through them — requires us not to bury our feelings, but to seek to understand them.

I never knew that grief would be so present in my life. But it is. So are joy and abundance. They can coexist.

There is much written about light and dark. I am learning that by allowing myself to experience both, my life becomes richer, and my ability to be with others in both good and challenging times is enhanced.

The last ten years of my life have included the loss of both parents, two dogs, relationships, and major life changes. Around me, my friends are experiencing the same. I want to learn how to support their grief with respect, tenderness, and grace.

I think the reason I am so immersed in understanding this very important feeling is because it is so present in my life. In 2023, with the help of Randy Martin, I finished the third and final book in our children’s book series about rescuing Big Boy. I was encouraged by friends to write about this last chapter of our lives, which included illness and death for both of my beloved dogs and my mother.

It took time to find the right way to tell the story. I want to be responsible to the reader, as there are only a handful of books written to help children understand love, loss, and the grief that follows.

Look for the book ‘You Left Your Footprints on My Heart’ to be out in the world in the late spring. See Below.

I wouldn’t change a day of the journey with my mother and my dogs, but I cry at the retelling. I now know that my tears reflect the depth of my love and allow me to remember all the special moments of living — and not the hardship of dying.

There is much to grieve in our world. I am here to listen and let you know that we grieve because we care. I focus on keeping it all in balance, not letting the grief edge out my hope, faith, and positive belief in the future.

I do not mean this blog to be a dark message. It is the opposite. It’s my message to you, and to me: let all the feelings rise and be released.

Leslie

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly

can also suffer great sorrow,

but this same necessity of loving

serves to counteract their grief

and heals them.”

― Leo Tolstoy