Release yourself from self-limiting beliefs

Recently, I've been thinking about how our beliefs impact our reality, and how much they might limit our happiness, success, and longevity. In the late 1970s, Dr Ellen Langer undertook the 'Counterclockwise Study', which examined the effects of mindfulness and environmental cues on the aging process. The study challenged conventional beliefs about aging and suggested that individuals could experience significant improvements in physical and mental health by adopting a different mindset and environment.

In the study, Langer recruited a group of men in their late 70s and early 80s to participate in a week-long retreat at a secluded monastery. The environment at the retreat was designed to resemble life as it was 20 years prior, in 1959, complete with furnishings, music, and news from that era. Participants were asked to act as if they were younger versions of themselves and were encouraged to engage in activities that were common during the late 1950s.

She found that by immersing themselves in the environment of the past and adopting a mindset of youth, the participants experienced significant improvements in a range of factors associated with aging. These improvements included better physical dexterity, improved memory and cognition, increased flexibility, and enhanced overall well-being.

I think of my Mum (pictured with me on her 80th birthday last month). Despite becoming an octogenarian, she walks several miles each day with her dog, Gertie, looks after her grandkids, is my go-to person for help when I have an issue with my laptop, cooks meals for the Royal Voluntary Society, and plays cornet in her local brass band. She doesn't allow society's expectations about what someone her age should do to limit the things that she achieves, and as a result, has the health and activity levels of someone several years younger.

I've just signed up for the Hackney Half Marathon and am training with a fantastic group from my shared workspace. The last half marathon I ran was in 2011 when I was 32 and I completed it in 1:48. My initial assumption was that now I'm 45 I will run a slower time at Hackney, but Dr Langer's work has got me thinking about whether actually this is a matter of mindset and self-limiting belief.

Since 2011 I have exercised consistently and taken steps to improve my health. My body weight is broadly the same, my diet is better, and I drink less alcohol. I think I'm stronger and more flexible. My speed may have diminished but my stamina hasn't. So if I tell myself a different story, that I am strong, fit, and have enough commitment and training time to achieve more, I think I can go faster.

In the senior leaders and executive teams I coach, I see a lot of self-limiting beliefs which hamper effectiveness, hurt relationships, and prevent people from reaching their full potential. I know that I have missed out on opportunities because I told myself that I couldn't do it, or I wouldn't do a good job, or it might feel uncomfortable. So why don't we switch these self-limiting beliefs around, and tell ourselves a different story?

Our brains often don't differentiate between the truth or something that is just a story - this is why we can be moved by a film or novel when we know it isn't real. And if we're mindful, we can learn virtually anything and achieve more. Ralph Waldo Emerson said 'once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen'. Of course, this doesn't mean that if you decide to be the next CEO of Google then it will automatically happen! But if you make a decision and take action to move toward your goals in a mindful and deliberate way, your chances of success are massively increased. And this is where life's magic lies, in achieving the things that are difficult and challenging.

So next time you tell yourself a story that you're too old, aren't confident, or can't do it, turn it round and tell yourself a different story. You might be surprised with what you can achieve.

I loving helping leaders and teams to reach their full potential. If you're interested in working with me, get in touch at [email protected].