The relaxing truth about your relationship

Your marriage (or relationship) will continue to be what it is until you are really ready for it to be different.

?That’s it.

?How you are showing up now is serving you in loads of ways which is why you continue to do it.

?If you are unhappy or dissatisfied in your relationship, how you are being “served” is maintaining some old status quo of suffering, and the known is more comforting for the ego than stepping out into the UNKNOWN.

?In other words, as long as you keep doing your relationship in the ways that you are doing it, you GET TO KEEP FEELING the familiar experiences of lack, loneliness, unfulfilled wanting, disconnection, etc.

?We could certainly go down the path of examining how those experiences were somehow anchored in you as a child, which is why you continue to live there.

?They are conditioned pathways, and your unconscious self will continue to return to those known places. Most of my clients already recognize that about themselves.

?They have often done therapy for years (or are therapists themselves!) and can even explain to me why it is happening:

• ?“I didn’t feel seen as a child, so I know I am reliving that with my husband.”
• “My mother never took a break, she was always doing something! I know I have judgment about myself if I take a nap or prioritize myself. It feels impossible to shake though.”
• “My house growing up was super chaotic and felt unstable. Although my life now is stable and good, I see how I create anxiety and mild chaos for my kids by always hurrying them, trying to do too much, so I am constantly late, overcommitting which creates more anxiety in me…then I am frazzled and don’t want to be intimate with my partner and he is hurt. What a mess!”

?All of us need to keep living the WAY that we are living until we are simply FINISHED REPEATING OLD PATTERNS.

?You know you are finished when:

• ?The misery of doing it the old way is greater than the fear of experiencing something different.
• You realize one day that you actually have a CHOICE and can therefore CHOOSE something different.
• You have a kind of awakening and become interested in exploring truly loving yourself rather than abandoning yourself to old patterns of internal suffering.

?This is when I come in.

?I have a method that is the bridge from where you are now to where you want to be living. It is a journey of setting down the practices that no longer serve and EMBODYING the ones that you want to reclaim or discover in yourself.

?I spoke with client recently who was starting her second week in my Relationship Mastery Program and she told me that she had been watching herself repeat old patterns for years before working with me.

She knew that she was twisted up in anxiety and people pleasing and needed to set boundaries with others and learn how to quiet her own overactive-fretting-mind. But she said that she never understood HOW to do it…like the everyday HOW of becoming that higher version of herself.

?Less than two weeks in with me and she exclaimed in tears that now she gets it. She is practicing really loving herself in meaningful ways everyday, loving her morning practices and noticing the subtle ways she beats herself up in her own mind and setting those old practices down.

What a REAL shift in less than 14 days. And we still had two more months together!

And here is a second truth about your "personal growth work" -- it doesn't have to be WORK or HARD. For me, my clients and I are taking a beautiful walk together...checking out the scenery, noticing things, choosing things, and leaving something behind.

That's it.

And then viola...they find themselves in as a whole new person in their same life -- which is now often quite transformed.

Until next time,

Jenny

Integration is critical for your health.

Time and space to metabolize new learning, emotional shifts and realizations anchor your transformation in your body.

It is also a great KINDNESS to yourself to stop shoehorning in “self-care.”

It is a priority.

Don’t give yourself the leftovers in life.

Give yourself the main course.

One spot is still open for my retreat April 3-7.

Apply HERE.

#womensretreat #integration #spiritualawakening