RELATIONSHIPS.

I found many obstacles that come in the way of relationships.

For me 3 seem to be the most prominent :

1. Lack of communication skills.
2. High expectations.
3. Lethargy.

Let start with the last one.

By lethargy I mean people’s misunderstanding that a relation says marriage, has some inherent quality that make it successful.

In other words once you have a big wedding, a big Greek wedding, the marriage will ensure that everything goes smoothly.

That I call complacency. Participants have to make a marriage work. That takes :

1. Time.
2. Patience.
3. Energy.
4. Dedication.

To the institution of marriage or any relationship. Like a friendship. You have to make friendship work. Now one more thing, to work on a relationship you have to be constantly working on yourself. Going within to understand psycho - physical nature and even deeper to understand your spiritual nature. So do away with lethargy.

Relationships dont make themselves work. It's a part of constant effort, effort that does.

Next is communication this is the age of quarrel. And while argument is usually take a form of communication, it isn't! It's a sign of  deteriorating relationships. We are going down! What I have seen people in general are poor communicator. Either people don't know the art,  they don't bother to learn or they don't have the courage to communicate. They freeze up! But communication is a science. It means knowing how to speak and how to hear. And speaking and hearing needs to be :

1. Proactive.
2. Open.
3. Constructive.
4. Emphatic.

It's not an occasional affair but an integral part of relationship. Parents need to regularly sit with you offspring and openly enquire and share. And in being empathic you need to say “Okay, I hear you are saying such and such…” and then respond. Communication is the real mark of quality relationships.

And here is the last one expectations or rather false expectations.

We are not perfect but often we have idealized expectations from others or from relationship. What I have seen is I saw my mother as a real example of someone who accepted people for what they were. She nudged me along to improve and grow but at the same time she accepted me for what I was and don't try to make another person out of me. So we can help eachother grow and our relationships grow. But don't try to change other person. Help him or her to become more himself or herself.  There are many books available today on the topic I mentioned. MAKING RELATIONSHIPS WORK. Unfortunately few include self - awakening. As an essential purpose or goals of relationships. But if you don't know who you are then even if relationships works they don’t bear life’s ultimate fruit. SELF AWAKENING so then what did you give each other of lasting value? Favourable relationships help keep our mind on Self development, self awakening so a healthy spiritual life means healthy relationships. Good luck in both.

By :

Sarthak Gupta