Relationships > Referrals

In business it's easy to get caught up thinking about the buck. Yes, cash flow and money is vital and it's what allows you and your company to operate and grow. But, the point I want to focus on is when making new business connections and “referral partners”, don’t forget to actually make sure you like the person you're talking to! Haha.?

It sounds obvious, (and believe me I need to listen/incorporate my own advice as I write this) but before you go adding Suzie Smith to your spreadsheet/short list of referral partners (we have a secret referral spreadsheet, right? - email me if you don’t), even if Suzie’s company and what she does is a perfect fit for what your clients may be looking for, and the service she offers seems like a great value…don’t forget to ask yourself at the end of that call:

• ?“Would I personally use her services for myself?”??
• “Did she share most/all of my core values?”

If the answer to either of those questions is not “absolutely!” or “without a doubt”, you’ve got to question adding them to your referral list, and you should keep looking for a better contact that offers the same/similar services.?

Much of the rationale here boils down to you or your team needing to make a warm, real, personable, informed referral to a trusted person who can help with whatever they need. When you make a referral, it's a reflection not only on the company you are referring to, but a reflection on you and your company. In a way, the referral is an extension of your company’s services - so you should not be referring to a person or company that doesn’t share your company’s core values.?

I can see some eyes rolling…and some “yeah, buts” in the back row…OK. Let’s break this down a bit and get real.?

I get it, when it comes to rolling up your sleeves to survive in business, make payroll, and get a sale, making any referral relationship is better than none. At least it seems that way. The problem is, that settling for just anyone leads to some major issues that can eat away at your business and stunt growth. Here are some issues that can crop up if you form a referral relationship based on your desire for referrals, instead of forming and developing a relationship with the person you are referring to/receiving referrals from:

• You don’t know the person you are recommending, and you don’t know their team, and what they can do - so when you introduce them to your client, it's pretty bare, so your client is less motivated to talk with them, and get the help they need to be successful
• Without knowing, you might refer your client to your “referral partner” in the middle of their 2-week long company retreat, and your client won’t get a call back for 2 weeks. If you knew the person, you’d have known that and set expectations right with your client
• Your referral partner gets on the call with your client, and has no idea what services you provide, and so when your client tells them about a problem they have that you and your company can solve, your referral partner doesn’t send them back to you, they send them to a competitor!?

So, if you network like I do, 90% of your interactions are on a computer screen. You’re waving, smiling, and interacting with people from all over the country/world through video conferencing. It’s true that in-person real, live interactions bring about a higher level of personality. But, there are some important things to do when you are first dating a potential referral partner.?

Yep, I said dating. That’s how you should be thinking about your B-B Networking calls. Seeing if they are a good fit for you and you a good fit for them. Ok, maybe it's more akin to you being the matchmaker for your clients. You are setting your clients up on a date with this person, and before you make the introduction (the blind date), you need to make sure that they are not going to disrespect your client, and will take as good of care of them as you would.?

One final way in which I personally have fallen victim to thinking about the referrals first (before the relationship) is an over-focus on the idea of “if I send them a referral, they will send me a referral back”, ala the law of reciprocation. So, with dollar signs in my eyes, I make a referral to the person I met not because of who they are, but because of the potential business I might get in return if they “repay” me the referral. One for one, I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Or worse yet, If I send them a referral, they’ll send me a referral fee of 10, 15, 20% or more!?

By putting the referral (and any money that comes with it) before the relationship, you are not doing your clients any favors, and you create an artificial relationship with the “partner” who now instead of authentically thinking of you when their clients need help, they are thinking “oh shoot, i need to send a referral back to Suzie because she just sent me two referrals last week…I owe her big time!” So, they will send you anyone that might marginally be a good fit for you in order to be relieved of this “debt”. This is so twisted, and hopefully you’re seeing how this could lead to poor referrals, and in the end, less than ideal results for the client both of you share.?

Your referral partner should never “owe you a referral”. Instead, all they owe you their best efforts to serve your client in the best way possible. And, naturally, there will be occasions when they effortlessly send their clients to you not through obligation, but through excited insistence, that sounds like this: “You’ve GOT to meet Suzie!!! She’s incredible, and she and her team can help you with X, Y, and Z!”. See the difference? People can hear/see real relationships in the way you talk about people, your energy level, and passion.?

So, as you network, don’t look to “land someone who will send you tons of leads”, instead look to “meet that like-minded someone that shares your core values to help your clients succeed”. Doing the former will lead to short-term success with fizzle in the end, and the latter will lead to long-lasting relationships where you create an advocate for you and your brand.

If you’re like most of us, making time to find those “like-minded someones” can be a bear, and even if you do, it's nearly impossible to do it consistently and in a systematic way. That is why we created Bold Connections. We help professionals just like you use your current network to find and make valuable personal connections with other professionals to help your clients succeed.