Principles for Success (3) Relationships Are More Valuable Than Money

If you think about a reason why you are happy or not happy, it often comes down to relationships.?

Early on in my life, I learned from my parents that relationships are more valuable than money. My parents showed me how they cared about others’ feelings in the way they handled day-to-day matters with neighbors or other farmers in our community.?

For example, if there was a joint electricity bill to split after watering the farms together with someone, my dad would rather pay a little more to make sure the other party was happy. My family would also join together with a couple of other families to complete tasks that required more hands, such as building a greenhouse or transplanting vegetable seedlings (the transplantation and watering needed to be completed in one day for the seedlings to survive). I saw how seriously my parents treated other people’s farm work. They really treated others’ needs the same way they treated their own or at times, more seriously.

In-between harvesting seasons, when we struggled to make ends meet, we didn’t rely on banks to lend us money, but people – our neighbors or the families who trusted my parents’ integrity. I observed how my parents took care of four farms and four kids in good times and bad times. My father helped neighbors fix their roofs, put up weddings or funerals for free. In return, when we had a need, there was a network of people in the community he could seek help from.

Growing up in a community where we constantly helped each other in good times and bad, I formed the habit of getting to know my neighbors immediately wherever I moved. Upon graduation from college in a city in Northern China, I needed to move out of the subsidized dormitory to look for housing. I found a studio apartment with a friend’s help. In a matter of days, I got to know my landlord and shop owners nearby, and even became friends with the daughter of one of the shop owners who was about my age.?

Later, when I needed help to install some kitchen appliances, the shop owner – my new friend’s father – was more than happy to help me. When my parents came out to visit, they happily hosted them for me, because they were my “neighbors.”?

When I was a college student, I majored in English, and I was able to communicate with international students and teachers. I helped an American couple to babysit their children for free for a while. They were teachers at my university. They offered to pay me, but I told them where I came from, we do things for each other for free and there was no need for them to pay me. Later, when I needed to apply for universities to study abroad and needed someone to proofread my essays, they were happy to help me.?

I also met another babysitter of theirs who was from Australia. She went to the University of Sydney and told me that her university was very good. When she was about to go home for Christmas, I asked her to deliver a copy of my application to the University of Sydney. It turned out that she didn’t even need to drive to the University because one of her close friends was studying there for a master’s degree; she had her friend deliver my application directly to the international students office on her way to class.?

The University of Sydney was the last university I applied for. I thought the chance to get in was low because it was too prestigious – it was ranked the 38th?in the world in 2008, but I received an unconditional offer from the University of Sydney in less than two months!?

I also received two offers from two other Australian universities – Griffith University and the University of Queensland as well as two universities from the UK – the University of Leeds and the University of Newcastle. I ended up going to the University of Sydney to study Cross-Cultural Communication and later Linguistics.??

There were many others who helped me. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the domestic and international friendships I have formed. The principle I learned from growing up in a farming community - relationships are more valuable than money – has helped me throughout my adult life.

What is your view on relationship? Do you intentionally put time and thought into building good relationships with people you meet? Do you reach out to people who can potentially help you grow to become a better person, or who can collaborate with you professionally??

I hope you have people in your life who can cheer you up, lift you up, build you up, help you achieve your goals and realize your dreams. If friendship is what you need now, it’s never too late to start building relationships with?the people around you.?

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Principles for Success (4) - Cherish Time and Accomplish Multiple Goals at the Same Time