Relationships are hard work …… Most people have an agenda ….. Never base on what ifs ….CoVid - 19 Your Struggles …part 110

One will be the taker and the other the giver. The one who takes will always take. The one who gives will always give. At times the roles might switch but usually it remains the same.

If the person has no respect for you they will say and do what they want without regard for your thoughts or feelings. 

 If you have expectations you will always be disappointed. So do yourself a favor and do not have any ever. 

When someone doesn't want to talk to you right then give them the space they need. Forcing interaction is never a good thing. 

Some people no matter how much you love them will not return that love. Learn from the experience and go on with your life. 

Most people are not thankful or notice what you do for them until you stop doing things for them. 

The people that matter have stuck by you in your darkest of times. 

The partner that is in it for the long haul will always try to work things through no matter how painful or difficult it is. 

Always match their effort. If they are attentive be attentive, if they are barely there then you do the same. 

If someone only wants to text you online and never makes any plans to see you. Know this this is all the relationship will ever be. You’re a time filler and you are not the only one they text. If you are looking for something more, move on. Unless it is physically impossible to see them face to face or for some other extenuating circumstance. 

Do not let anyone waste your time. Once time is gone it's gone forever. 

 Leave the past in the past, people change sometimes drastically over the years. In other words do not think the person you knew then is the same person now. 

Pay attention to more of what a person does than says. Words are just that words and at times have little to do with the facts of what is really happening. 

.Look at the interaction for what it really is now. It may never move past this point.

When someone tells you they do not want a relationship, believe them. If a relationship is what you are looking for then move on. This person for whatever reason is not open to it right now or ever. If you stay know that more than likely you will be disappointed, hurt, and never satisfied. 

You cannot love anyone if you do not love yourself. Meaning do not do anything for someone you would not do for yourself first. Its OK to have boundaries in any relationship. 

Somethings are better left unsaid. Not everyone appreciates brutal honesty, especially if it's going to crush them or cause an emotional upheaval. Always think it through first. Speak in a tactful way and never deliberately hurt someone. You can never take back what has been said. 

People will always be the best they will ever be to you in the beginning. So if someone is treating you like shit it’s only going to go downhill from there. 

If there is no attraction the it’s not going to work in a romantic relationship. I am not saying it is based solely on looks either. What I am saying is there has to be something about them that you find appealing enough to transition from friends to lovers.· People are going to hurt you in some form at some point in your life. You will get over it in time

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate. 

Thank you …“Relationships are hard work” does not accurately sum up the work involved in keeping a relationship healthy, fun, and alive. It takes a day-by-day commitment and sometimes that feels easy to do and other days it feels exhausting. Sometimes you’ll feel like love is not enough and you’ll want to give up and that’s okay. It’ll most likely pass.

Inevitably, you will become attracted to someone else and it will be confusing and difficult to navigate, because you won’t know if this is a situation where you think the grass is greener on the other side or if this new person is actually someone you’re meant to be with.

Sometimes, your significant other is going through something big and difficult emotionally and nothing you say or do will help them. And, because you’re on the front-lines of their emotions, they will take it out on you and there’s no getting around the fact that it will be hard. You will be supportive and loving and you will also be hurt and shut-out and, while it shouldn’t be this way, it will be that way and you will just have to weather the storm until whatever big thing they’re dealing with passes.

Sometimes the most loving thing for yourself does not benefit or feel particularly loving to your significant other. Sometimes choosing yourself means choosing to leave. Sometimes things aren’t even or fair or as amazing as you thought they would be. Sometimes you will love and give and everything will be fine, but it will still be broken, and you’ll have to summon up enough courage to deal with all of this and more with grace and kindness, despite wanting to be anything but graceful and kind. thing they’re dealing with passes.

Want to add word or two?

We live in a world where a lot of people are afraid to show us who they really are. A world where “I am fine” is what people say when they couldn’t be feeling worse. A world where vulnerability is only seen to be for the faint-hearted. A time where people have never felt more alone in this widely connected and globalized world.

Yet it does not surprise me at all. If it has been so normalized to run away from our own emotions, which are a very normal part of the human experience, then how can we be a shelter to another person’s heart?

When instead of trying to know what shakes the person in front of you, what keeps them awake at night, or what makes their soul shine, we just want to pass time blabbering about mundane things and anything that’s stripped of real emotions. Then it’s normal for people to feel so lifeless.

Your comment ….? 

Giving more than you’re getting isn’t fair to you. Your relationship shouldn’t be one-sided. You shouldn’t be initiating every hug and kiss and conversation.

You should be putting in the same amount of work as the other person. If the relationship isn’t balanced now, that probably won’t change even if you end up dating — and do you really want a partner who doesn’t do their fair share?

You deserve someone who wouldn’t want to risk losing you. If someone is making you wait forever for a text and canceling plans with you at the last second and flirting with other people in front of you, they must not mind losing you.

And the right person wouldn’t want to risk that happening. They would try their hardest to keep you around. They would treat you right because losing you isn’t an option.

A relationship isn’t as close as you think. You might be sticking around because you feel like you’re so close to becoming an official couple. But didn’t you think that a week ago?

A month ago? If you’re not in a relationship yet, there must be a reason why. Maybe you need to be more vocal about your feelings — or maybe your feelings aren’t reciprocated. 

You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people.

Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming.

All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.

And, while love is powerful, if you’re both not going in the same direction and you’re both not growing together and there are more incongruences than not, the love can weaken and that will be heartbreaking to witness.